I honestly have no idea. . .

A few posts have drifted through my mind in the last month.  Month.  How has it been a whole month since I last wrote?  Sigh.

We got beat in that second week of football playoffs and basketball has hit full force.  I'm not sure if I'm just old, or tired, or cranky, or all three. . . but I'm not handling basketball season as well as I expected.  It's busier than it's ever been (with five playing) and some weeks we've had as many as nine games.  I love watching my troops play (I do!), but I'm much less tolerant than I imagined of the officials, opposing fans, and just the schedule in general.  Yikes.

Maybe all of that wouldn't be so bad, if I were more on top of things at home.  But I'm not.  We finally got the Christmas cards ready to mail (after they sat on the desk for 5 days) last night.  The gifts aren't all bought.  Not even close.  The baking list is still just a list.  And we are hoping to take a quick trip to our favorite Christmas spot this weekend with the grandparents.

I don't have to mention (do I?) all that needs to be done?

Along with games tonight and tomorrow night.

Mostly, I just feel like crawling back into bed.  And I find myself evaluating what really matters and what are we REALLY spending our time on (yes, too many Hallmark Christmas movies, I'm sure!), and what we might need to let go.

We had TWO snow days, recently - loved having my troops home - got absolutely nothing done - but on the first day out of school we loaded the troops up in Daughter's (#2) and Grandmother's 4 wheel drive cars and went to see the new Disney movie, Frozen.

Loved it.

I keep thinking about "Let it Go."



Let the excessiveness of Christmas go.

Let the tons of gifts go (we're doing ONE for each of the troops).

Let the ideas of a perfectly cleaned home and perfectly wrapped gifts and perfectly prepared goodies and perfectly EARLY Christmas cards and perfectly hand-made thoughtful teacher gifts for 38. . .

GO.

Let the expectations of my troops - asking them to quit being kids who are learning, and thinking they should be grown, fully understanding, mature adults (even when I'm not). . .

GO.

Let those expectations of how everyone should behave (including myself!), how things should look, what should get done. . .

GO.

It's not physically possible to accomplish it all.  It's not.

And letting it go (I'm working on it, at least!), leaves room for other things.  A minute on my blog with a second cup of coffee while the list sits.

Decorating the house for Christmas (even minimally).

Running the Turkey Trot with my Coach on Thanksgiving morn.

Spending Thanksgiving with the Coach's HUGE family.

Celebrating Son's (#1) EIGHTEENTH birthday and Daughter's (#5) TWELFTH.  Yikes.

Gathering lots of eggs!

Completing countless projects for school, with the bigs taking finals this week.

Enjoying Christmas parties with sweet friends.

Going on mission field trips with my girls - preforming the nativity at nursing homes, delivering gifts, singing at the mall.

A wedding of two of the coach's former students.

Sleepovers (even on school nights - gasp!) for my girls.

Friends of the bigs - coming and going - coming and going.  With brownies and muffins always here to share.

Afternoon coffee dates with my Coach on snow days and Sundays, when the weekends are full.

A matinee of "A Christmas Carol".  Lovely.

Visiting sweet friends in the hospital and welcoming new babies.

Making gifts for "Faith Friends" and "Secret Sisters" and countless trips to Hobby Lobby with my girls.

Celebrating our 19th anniversary with the younger kids' Christmas Program at school and watching my biggest big boy play the role of Rabbi Simeon.  I didn't even cry.

And you know what?  Just the day to day cooking, cleaning, baking, washing, folding, ironing.  It's a blessing, too.  Each of my troops fills my heart.  I love them so dearly.  Even with all of the mess.

Times up for now.  Washer repairman coming this morning, bundt cake to make for Christmas Eve and put in the freezer, and Son's (#4) basketball game, along with dinner, homework, and Christmas parties GALORE, tomorrow.

If I don't get it done before next Tuesday. . . and what are the chances??  Let me go ahead and say. . .

MERRY CHRISTMAS Dear Ones.

May your hearts be filled with the knowledge of our Savior and the PEACE He brings to our souls.

~Mrs. Troop

Meanwhile at the Coach's house. . .

This morning we had a rare moment.  The Coach and I were both awake and still in bed.  At the same time.  I know, right?  He usually gets up at 5.  And I . . . don't.  Get up at 5.  Ugh.

As I came to consciousness and realized he was STILL THERE, I rolled over and noticed he was staring at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"How to stop Davis."  He answered.  (Our opponent for this week's football game, of course.)

Almost like, "Duh.  What else would I be thinking about?"  And honestly if I hadn't just been waking up, I wouldn't have even asked.  Only half asleep would I wonder what he's thinking about.

I get it.  I do.

After 19 years and fewer trips to the 2nd week of playoffs, it's a big deal.

Most people probably realize that being married to a football coach requires a lot of time in the practice and game sense.

What they may not realize is that during football season, my precious man eats, sleeps, and breathes football.  He watches film, diagrams plays, jots notes on film, the laptop, his ipad, and countless sheets of paper.

He gets up at five everyday to watch more film.  Even on Saturday.

Even when we don't get home from games until midnight.  He's up and back at it 5 hours later.

I'm not complaining.

I'm tired, but I'm not complaining.

I've grown to love football, too.  I've managed to become a screaming, jumping, crazy, maniacal fan in the four years MY boy has been out there playing with the Varsity.  I'm the embarrassment of the Coach's family - all who sit calmly no matter what the bad call or interception or last minute hail mary pass for a touchdown. And yes, it's OK if they act like I'm not related.

But when preparing for the week's game IS our life here at the troops. . . it's a big deal.

Of course my preparations are different.  I'm thinking who is riding with us to the game (one time I accidentally ended up with more kids than seats - oops!)?  How far away is it and how early do we need to leave?  Will we eat dinner before we leave or on the way?  Do I have directions or an address and have I saved them on my phone (sometimes you just have to find the right highway exit and look for the lights!)  Do I have enough cash to get umpteen kids into the game and are the stadium seats and blankets in the van from last week?  Will everyone need hats/gloves/coats?  Will the Coach be able to ride home with us or will he be taking the bus back to school (This is huge because it means I either have help putting the kids to bed at 11:30. . . or I don't.)?

So you can see it's what we do.  And it's a lot of work for my man.  And our troops.

It's a lot of fun, too.

And although I'm eversograteful for the character it's developed in my husband and sons (with many more years to come, Lord willing), it's great fun to win, too.

I'm pretty sure my character has grown in a negative sense.  As I may or may not have screamed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" at a call or two last Friday.

I'm not proud of this, of course.

But I sure am proud of my Crusaders.

GO BIG BLUE!

(Here's to hoping that basketball season leaves more time for writing?  HA!)

Reaching new lows. . . every single day.

Some weeks I'm not sure how we keep on keeping on over here.  I know we have soverymuch to be grateful for.  And I am.  But OH the mess and OH the drama of . . . well. . . I guess that would be human beings.  I may have eight kids, but I'm sure your kids have drama, too.  (Please say yes.)

Last week Little Man got sick early Monday morning.  On the carpet.  Which is fine, because here enters "handy dandy steam cleaner".  But obviously that wasn't on my agenda for the day.  Duh.  I don't really mind setting aside my "list" and snuggling with a sweet 6 year old.  But it doesn't take long to get behind.

He spent a day resting and was back at school Tuesday. Wednesday, two of the kids had eye appointments and one had piano.  And I may have baked 14 dozen cookies for our Fall Festival bake sale at school.  Thursday WAS the Fall Festival and that is some serious fun.  And I was tired.  We ended up with a group of football guys watching the OU game here, two girls spending the night, and I'm pretty sure more kids actually slept here, but who is counting (The house was a wreck so the kids just blended in.)?  Friday we were out of school.  The football guys had breakfast, one of my girlies had a birthday party, we had lunch with Granddad, and our last regular season home football game/senior night.  That was quite possibly the windiest game I've attended in 19 years.  The fact that it was miserable weather made it easier to not get emotional about my first-born graduating from high school, though.  So there's that.

Saturday, Granddad came to help Son (#3) built a hen house (it's getting colder) and the three little girls had basketball games.  Thanks to Granddad bringing bagels, everyone actually got breakfast - ha!  After the 1st game, daughter (#7) threw up all over the driveway upon arriving home.  So she was tucked in bed for the day with essential oils.  Another daughter also felt puny and spent the day resting.  The Coach and Son (#1) had film with the football team and then came home to work in the yard.  The hen house was finished, the house was cleaned up, the leaves and yard finished, and the Coach and I snuck out for a date night - in spite of it all. Which ended up being helpful in more ways than one because we were also out of milk.

Yesterday was quieter - with two home from church, Christmas movies galore on the Hallmark Channel, and lots of homework for the big kids.

But about 9:30 last night?  Another girlie started throwing up.  Right about the time I remembered that Little Man brought "Buzzy the Bee" home from school on Thursday and he was supposed to read books with him and take pictures at the places we went and fill out his "favorites".

Oh.  And he had snacks for his class this week, too.  (And no, the snack basket hadn't even made it out of the van, yet.  Sigh.)

So I not only do NOT have my act together, I've managed to reach new lows at the troops.  Poor Little Man.  Think I can get fired from "Kindergarten Mom"?  At least we didn't LOSE Buzzy (it could happen).  We just lost the Coach's phone.  But I found it.  After he left this morning.

I realize that none of this is a big deal and none of it is long-term and we really are blessed beyond my understanding.  With healthy (most of the time) kids whom we love and enjoy and who love us, too.  That's no small thing and I am grateful.  But those moments when being a mom of eight feels overwhelming?  Are becoming more and more frequent.  Just ask Buzzy.

If you need me, I'll just be hanging here with stomach virus round 3.

Happy Monday!

This and That

In no particular order (because that would take too much energy - ha!):

Our FIRST eight eggs from our chickens!  

 Sweet and FUN surprise from a sis-in-law.  How cute is that?

 Beans and Cornbread. 

Field Trip with Daughter (#6) to the National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum.

Beautiful Fall weekend at the Farm House.

Field Trip to the Pumpkin Patch with Little Man.

Quick visit with our amazing Chelle!  OH how we miss her!

That's all I have time for, today.  1/2 day at school, lunch with grandparents, PT for Son (#3), eye doctor. . .  and on it goes.  Blessed.

Happy Wednesday!

And I thought I'd be better at it. . .

As a follow up to Tuesday's post, I don't suppose life is ever quite as you imagine it will be.

Sometimes it's horribly different.

Sometimes a wonderful surprise.

But it's impossible to anticipate what it will really be like.  Even tomorrow!  Things often completely change without our permission.  Think "surprise" ACL surgery for Son (#3) 6 weeks ago.  Ugh.

Before the Coach and I had a family of our own, I think we exuded confidence.  We "knew" a lot of information about parenting.  Books, seminars, classes, and most of all?  We had amazing parents in our own lives who we had learned from.  And maybe our own share of pride.  Yikes.

Turns out it was more complicated than it seemed.  (Yes, you can laugh.  I am!)

I remember when Son #1 was born. . . we walked in the door to our little house with him when he was a mere 4 hours old.  All 5.5 pounds of him.  Just the three of us.  Sat down.  Looked at each other.  Then, "What in the WORLD do we do now?"

Ha!

It was rough.  The nursing, the recovery, the lack of sleep.  I thought putting him on a schedule would be easy.  Um.  No.  I thought (later on ), teaching him "no" and to fall asleep in his bed would be a cinch.  Not so much.

I was grateful we'd done it, though, when we discovered we were expecting #2 when our little boy was 6 months old.  Ha!

I can laugh about it, now, but it was hard.  I wouldn't change it.  But it wasn't easy.

And you know what?  I wasn't that good at it, either.  I had vicious and relentless nausea.  I was exhausted (some things never change - ha!).  I couldn't gain weight (what a joke!) and I did NOT glow.  Unless "green" is glowing.

Turns out. . . becoming a mom does NOT make you instantly unselfish.  Is spite of the cute little Pinterest graphics that declare that it does.

A selfish, spoiled, self-centered, girl who really likes clean and quiet and her own personal space will not instantly morph into a fabulous mother.

Well, at least I didn't.

I wouldn't change the process.  I wouldn't pretend it's over.  And I'm eversograteful to be a momma and have my troops to show me so much about myself that I wouldn't have known otherwise.

But I've honestly had SO much to learn.

And still do.

Of course the kids ARE the thing, here.  It's our job to raise independent kids who can THINK (what an amazing concept - ha!) and make wise choices when they leave our nest.

But this doesn't happen by default.  They don't learn by being left to themselves.  They learn by being guided and taught and reminded, and allowed to fail.  Ugh.  Never mind that they are eight very different, very unique personalities.  Some of which clash with my own personality in glaring and painful ways.

Somewhere in the teaching and training and correcting and disciplining and loving and returning again and again to how little we actually KNOW about this whole process. . . we've been changed WAY more than our kids.

The Coach and I are better parents then we were 18 years ago.  In some ways.  In others. . . we've relaxed a lot (I have been much more easy going with Little Man - for better AND worse).  We laugh a LOT more.  I hope that never changes.

And in the process, we love each other AND our troops in ways I never thought possible.

Maybe the key has been the realization that we aren't good at it at all.  But that our Lord IS fully able to work in and through us and in the lives of our kiddos.  In spite of us.

They don't really need sufficient parents, anyway.  They need to know their sufficient GOD.

I thought it would be easier.

Silly me.

I didn't think it would be EASY, mind you.  No, not easy.  I had watched too many parents in their struggles to think it was easy.

But I had no idea how hard it would be.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world.

And somehow you are supposed to do the hardest job in the world - and do it well - while completely exhausted.

Hmmmm.

Might explain why it's not easier?

Two imperfect humans (if your extra blessed to have a partner in the journey -  single parents - I don't know how you do it!) trying to train, guide, correct, instruct, and prepare for life - another imperfect human.

All while trying to insure that our own issues don't end up being their issues, too.  Because they will surely have their own to deal with.

And the scariest part of all?  You literally blink . . . and you are out of time with them.

Our date night on Saturday was spent discussing how to deal with the current issues and conflicts and areas we are struggling with.

This doesn't need to be done once.  Or twice.  Or yearly.

With eight kids it needs to be done almost weekly.

Well.

OK.  Sometimes we just talk about FUN things on our date nights.

But most of the time it needs to be a productive time where we catch up and discuss and plan.  This week?  A new standard for picking up their rooms - and appropriate fines.  Think Starbucks fund for mom.

After 18 years?

I'm tired.

I know I shouldn't be.  No babies.  No toddlers.  No potty training or diapers or bottles or night-time feedings (I've done my share.).

No.  Now it's teens and pre-teens and responsibility and teaching and (still) training and discussing and staying up with them to talk when they are "chatty" and we are worn out.  And yes, we still have a six year old, too.

The Lord knows.

And maybe rather than trying to be the perfect parent (having already failed in that regard), it's more about being a real parent.  Loving our kids - imperfectly.  Laughing a lot.  Being willing to ask forgiveness.  Doing the hard thing.

Which sometimes means (for this soft-hearted mom) being tougher on them than I'd like to be.  My apologies to Son #1's future wife.  I have no excuses - I've cleaned his room much too often.

So grateful for a man who loves me even when I fail.  Grateful for kids who are happy and fun and put up with this momma who doesn't always know what she's doing.

And grateful for my Heavenly Father.  The only perfect parent ever.  And some of His kids?  They've had issues, too.

Happy Tuesday.

Laugh or Go Crazy

I actually beat the Coach to bed last night.  It was a little Christmas miracle.  OK.  A Fall miracle.

Because he is forever and always scolding me about staying up too late.  And then going to bed without me while I fold laundry or wash dishes or line up lunch bags or wash water bottles.

But I'm not bitter.  (wink)

Last night I was so tired that the mess didn't even phase me (now THAT is tired!) and I stumbled back to bed earlier than usual.

I was trying to focus my bleary eyes on the newest edition of WORLD when he came to bed.  Don't you just love how you take out your contacts, wash your face, put cream on your face, chapstick, eye drops, brush your hair, put lotion on your hands. . .

And the guys just brush their teeth and climb into bed?

So not fair.

Anyway, I had actually DONE all of that and still beat him to bed, when he came in and said, "I love what you've done with the hall."

It took me a minute.

You see. . . a week ago (yes a WEEK), the kids had been begging to get out the Fall decorations and I finally gave in (usually October 1st is the earliest I pull it all out).  They had a great time switching out the wreath and putting the leaf garland on the mantle.  They even convinced the Coach to take them to buy pumpkins for the porch.  Sweet Man.

But in the process of getting the stuff out of the hall cabinet, I set two Fall candles on the floor and. . .

Well.

I may have just moved on and left them there.

For a week.

I laughed at the Coach's sarcasm.

Then I told him, "That's not the half of it.  I've actually vacuumed around them.

Twice."

And you know what?  This is just evidence that I'm getting better at letting things go.

And yes, they are still there.

I'm thinking it's their new home.  At least until I catch up on everything else.

Happy Monday!