Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday!

Actually FEELING thankful, today. Makes it a bit easier! Ha!

1. Rain. Pretty sure I'm happiest when the weather is bad. And I'm sure that says something about me that's not good, but I can deal with that.

2. Well into our third week of school and so far so good. It's a little (OK, a LOT, OK, INSANELY) crazy, but we're doing well. Thank you, Lord!

3. Healthy kids. So much going around and grateful we've gotten off to a good start. Need to get back into giving the kids their vitamins every day. As if I don't have enough to do, already!

4. First football game last Friday night - Son (#1) got to play! Really exciting. I know this probably seems goofy to those of you who aren't married to a highschool football coach (would that be ALL of you?) but BIG DEAL to have your own son playing. For this mama, too.

5. Volleyball season rolling along and so far Daughter's (#2) team is undefeated! (Kind of sad that it took me a minute to remember the word, "undefeated" - maybe it's time for coffee.)

Love watching her play and improve.

6. Francine Rivers new book, "Her Mother's Hope" on the Coach's new "Nook". I like the nook. I don't like that the Coach is usually using it.

7. Fall. Won't be long now. Once the weather cools off a bit and the trees start changing it will be time to get out the Fall decorations, the pumpkins, the pansies. Ahhhhhh. I FORCE myself to wait until October. (sigh)

8. Chili for dinner. Perfect night for it. When I told the kids at dinner last night that I was making it today I got a "YES!" from the majority. Can't do better than that!

9. Quiet. Little Man fell asleep while we were out running errands this morning. Not the best of timing (he hasn't had lunch), but we're going with it. I can hear him snoring on the couch. Love it.

10. Cereal. With milk. Pretty sure I could live on it. And pretty sure I shouldn't. But it's my favorite thing to eat. Except when Little Man takes all of the raisins in my raisin bran.

11. In spite of the craziness last night and the fact that I went to bed and left the messes - everyone got off to a good start this morning and I'm getting caught up, today. Can't always have your act together, right? Not sure I EVER have my act together, anymore - but I sure try!

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with all of the prayer needs that come my way. I love everyone in our circle of friends and family - and there is so much need, hurt, grief, sickness. God is so good to allow us to pray for one another. To lift each other up before His throne. And best of all? He hears. He answers. And we can trust Him to care for us because of His great love. Trusting all of YOU to His loving hands, today.

Happy Thursday!

It's just the way it is sometimes.

Some evenings I sit and sip decaf coffee and peruse new magazines while enjoying the fact that the house is in order, the kitchen clean, the lunches (all eight of them) started, the water bottles filled, the backpacks neatly in a row (with all papers signed), the laundry folded and put away, the list for tomorrow completed, and the kids all snoozing in their beds with their clothes laid out for morning.

But tonight? Not so much.

So I'm going to set the alarm for 30 minutes earlier and go to bed.

Night all~

Happy Wednesday!

Casual Dating

Most of you know (if you've read our story) that the Coach and I didn't date before we got married. I know that's an odd thing to explain. You'll just have to read about it. I think we went to lunch by ourselves after church. Once.

Even after marriage, it took us awhile to realize how important it was to spend time by ourselves now and then. We had a baby before our first anniversary. Then another baby shortly after our second anniversary. That pattern continued for quiet some time. Ha!

When the kids were all tiny, it was hard to get out by ourselves. God blessed us with a sweet sitter for our first three (who later became our sister-in-law - how fun is that?) and then our amazing sweet sister/sitters who are without a doubt responsible for any sanity that I have left. I mean that.

And we could still have "at home" dates in those days. Put the kids all to bed, go pick up Chinese food (it helped that we lived near the Asian district) and enjoy a quiet evening together. That only lasted until our kids started staying up later (pre-teen years) and there wasn't time for dinner after they were in bed!

Then came the oh-so-glorious-day when our kids were old enough to (gasp) stay by themselves! I'm still celebrating! It's a wonderful stage of life when you have babysitters that are also your older children!

So for the last couple of years (especially during football season) the Coach and I HAVE had our date night's together. We catch up on the week, talk about what's coming up. Discuss issues with the kids (they ALL have issues, you know) and just enjoy being together.

It's invaluable time that we really need these days with teens, school, sports, toddlers, and very busy lives.

Except I'm pretty sure most casual dates don't usually end up like ours do. A trip to Wal-mart and then home to the eight kids. (smile)

We've more than made up for all of the dates we "missed" before we were married. And I guarantee we enjoy these date nights much more! I LOVE time with my Coach!

Dear Football Season,

I see you're back.

We've come to somewhat of an understanding, you and I, in the last 16 years. I tolerate you. You eventually leave for awhile.

That works for me.

But things have changed this year. My boy is out there. Playing highschool football for his daddy.

I know, I know, he's been in Jr. High ball the last two years. That was fun. But the kids weren't as big. And it wasn't nearly as serious. And the season was a lot shorter.

I've resigned myself to the fact that the Coach is yours from August through December. I don't mind sharing him. You obviously need him. All of those Jr. High and Highschool boys need him. And it's no mystery to me. He's an amazing man. I'm already looking forward to December so we can get re-acquainted.

There are parts about you that I really like. Watching my son play (assuming he doesn't get knocked clear to nowhere by some 300 pound man-boy). Sitting in the stands on a cool Fall night with the bright lights.

It has gotten easier as the kids have grown. No more sitting through the game 8 months pregnant only to stand up and realize I am paralyzed from the waist down from the hard wooden bleachers. No having to get a babysitter for the tiny ones because it's too cold and too late. We've moved on from a lot of that. We should all be able to go, now, and enjoy it more. Especially if I take a dollar for a bag of Skittles. Makes the troops happy.

I also enjoy the watching at home. Or maybe I enjoy watching the watching at home. It's fun to see my "men" all laughing and talking about the game. Even Daughter (#2) will watch some football if Sam Bradford is playing.

I'll also admit to how much I love watching the troops in the front yard throwing the football around and chasing after it and giving each other a hard time. The Coach passing to Son (#4) who (if I could guess) may end up being our best athlete, yet. After all he's been tackling everyone within reach since he turned one. The cooler breezes, the changing leaves. It's all part of you and I like it.

Maybe my favorite part about you is the memories. My first observations of the Coach were centered around you, when he was on the sidelines coaching his youngest brother (later our best man). Sitting with the Coach's sister and sister-in-law and hearing about all of the kids and families in what would become a very special place to me - our school. Hearing how great he was coaching the boys. How much they respected him. Watching him under the bright lights of a Friday night game (be still my heart!).

Later on that same season, I have memories of going to a game with a ring on my finger. Finally belonging to him in some sense but still yards away from him - just watching.

Then the very next year - as newlyweds - I spent the season expecting son (#1). Watching games together on Sunday afternoons and the Coach being very patient with my never ending questions about the game. I'm sure I thought, at the time, that if it was a boy (we didn't know until he came) he'd be out there playing someday beside his coach/daddy.

And now he is.

My point is this. I've given you a lot. My husband. My time. My peace (ever try taking 8 kids 11 and under to a 3 hour football game that doesn't start until after their bedtime? And staying home isn't much easier.). My Friday nights. My Monday nights. Even my weekends since the Coach is gone watching film on Saturdays and watching film and drawing up plays at home on Saturday and Sunday, too.

Because of this my expectations are high. I want to get something back. I want my son to learn to work hard, play hard, hit hard and never complain. I want him to learn to follow instructions, sense the opposing team's position, and be happy even if he doesn't get to play. And I really really want him to stay healthy and not spend the season injured.

I know you can't help me with any of this. Since you are just a football season, after all.
But I thought, with our history, it was only fair to let you know.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Troop

Sometimes the best plan is to keep my mouth shut.

First week of school. Tired kids. Football season. Volleyball season. Tired Coach. Tired Mom. Lots to do. Not enough time.

What is this a prescription for?

Conflict.

And lots of it.

I have a hard time being nice, sometimes. OK. A lot of the time.

I'd rather talk.

Run at the mouth.

Defend my authority.

Remind them why they are wrong.

All of which is easier than patient firmness and quiet.

Ugh.

Don't you ever get on Facebook and think, "Now WHY would someone want the world to know THAT?"

Or get an e-mail and think, "That could have been said in a kind way instead of an ugly one."

Or wonder, "Did that need to be said AT ALL?"

I do.

And then I turn around to my own children and do the exact same thing. Use an ugly tone or sharp words instead of grace and love.

God's Word is full of help in this department. My favorite?

A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Are your words soft. . . or harsh? Do others sense the Love of Christ in your responses or do they feel like they've been "taken down a notch"? Do you say something ugly then follow it with "I was just kidding" to lessen the guilt? My kids certainly do (and I'm sure they learned it from me).

We are so quick to judge others. . . defend ourselves. . . seek to be RIGHT. When we should be loving, serving, encouraging.

Maybe that's why God hates PRIDE so very much. Because it's making an issue all about US instead of HIM. It's caring more about what others think of us (that we are competent, smart, capable, have our act together) than it is about the needs of others. It's loving ourselves and not those around us. It's making my agenda more important than His. It's wanting people to just stop being stupid so I don't have to mess with them anymore.

Ouch.

But if we really seek to be like Jesus, it has to stop being about us. About how we may appear to others. About what they think we are or aren't.

And, as a mom, it has to start being about showing the love of Christ to those in my house. Soft answers. Patient firmness. Taking the time to get to the root issue instead of just telling them to get over it so we can get on with it.

And outside of this house? It looks like caring more about a person than a program. About their needs and not my convenience. About giving up MY control to HIS control so HE can use me to touch the lives of those around me. And just being nice - even when I'm annoyed. And eventually getting to the point that I'm not annoyed to begin with.

This is real life. I want to live it in such a way that I bring glory to my Lord. Like our mothers always told us (at least mine did), "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I think the Lord asks more of us. More than just NOT being ugly. I think He asks us to show love, not just the absence of hate.

And right now? It's about loving on tired kids. Feeding them lunch. Naptime for Little Man. Helping the kids resolve conflict with each other. Serving each other. Showing love and being cheerful when the Coach calls from Daughter's (#2) all day volleyball tournament.

Maybe someday I can do more than just keep my mouth shut when I feel like being ugly. But it sure beats regretting what I've said.

May the Lord give us the discernment to know when to be quiet. And when we do speak? May we speak words of love from a heart filled with gratefulness for the love of our Savior.

Thankful Thursday

1. Seven happy school kids (and one Little Man in his jammies). Freshman, eighth grade, 6th grade, 4th grade, 3rd grade, 2nd grade, and Kindergarten.



2. Extra thankful for a happy 2nd grader.

3. And a new Kindergartner.

4. And my first highschooler. Love that boy!

5. Teachers that love the Lord and love my kids.

6. And answer e-mails late at night.

7. Smooth mornings so far. Even with eight lunches to make and three heads of hair to fix (fortunately my eldest daughter can handle hers on her own -ha!).

8. Volleyball games. #2 tonight. And a daughter who loves to play.

9. Notebooks have all been assembled with labels, tabs and cover sheets. Eeeeesh.

10. School supplies have all been taken to school (do I hear an "AMEN"?). (and I forgot to take a picture of our bedroom where they were all stacked to the rafters. Bummer!)

11. Quiet afternoons.

12. Time with Little Man - cleaning, running errands, cooking - he's been so much fun!



I am so grateful we have survived the first two days. . . Friday is in our sights. . . . everyone is doing well. There aren't words for how grateful I am - how many prayers the Lord has already answered - how GOOD things are right now.



Sometimes in the dark moments, it seems like the sun will never shine again. Last year had some dark moments. I wasn't sure if we'd make it. If things would ever be "normal" again here at the troops. Whatever normal IS here, anyway. But you know what? God brought us through that for now. We are more dependent on Him AND each other - and that's all worth saying thank you for.



If you are in a moment, today, that is dark. . . that seems hopeless. . . that you don't have the answers for. . . God is faithful. The outcome may be uncertain, but God's love, faithfulness and goodness is NOT uncertain. You CAN trust Him.



Happy Thursday!

Character building 101

So a new school year is upon us. Been thinking a lot about how I can make this year less stressful for us as a family. Seven kids in school is busy. I can't change that. But it has occurred to me that I'm really the one that gets stressed around here. (sigh) Well, there is the issue of wrinkles in Daughter's (#6) socks. But that's another post for another day.

I've narrowed it down to a few key areas that I need to improve in. Wouldn't hurt to lower my blood-pressure a bit in the process.

1. By FAR the most annoying thing to me is the pick-up lanes at my children's school. (deep breath) However, I am going to remember that 5-10-15 minutes either way is not going to change much of anything. I am not going to roll down the window and shout "Don't park in the pull-through lane - that's what the parking lot is for!" Nor am I going to speed around cars that park, get out, shut the door, walk slowly across the pick-up lanes to the lines of children, retrieve their one child, and walk slowly back to their car, open their trunk, take 5 minutes to stow back pack of the one child, open the child's door, buckle the child in, and visit with a friend for 10 minutes before pulling forward - all while the line of cars is backing up into the street. Never mind that you aren't supposed to exit your vehicle in the pick-up lanes. And never mind that my 5 elementary children can load in WITH their stuff and buckle up in about 7 seconds flat.

(is it hot in here?)

2. Wal-mart check out lanes. This is something I've been working on for awhile, already. I even told someone the other day, "You may not want to get behind me in this line. I have a way of picking the slowest checker in the whole store." I've started letting people go ahead of me if they only have a couple of items. Makes them SO happy after they've seen my cart. Not sure why. And while I'm at it, when I do have to run in for just a few things? I resolve not to glare at the person in front of me with 40 items in the speedy check-out 20 item lane. Once again, what is 5-10-15 minutes here or there? Or in Wal-mart's case - what is another hour?

3. Those phone calls 30 minutes after dinner is cold to tell me that the Coach is going to be late. Last year it occurred to me that I had two choices. Be ugly, or be nice (wish I could say that I always choose nice). So now we eat at 6. If the Coach isn't here, he isn't here (and he often isn't). He's said he doesn't mind a bit if we get started without him (much later than six and bedtime won't happen at a reasonable hour) and when he calls? I be nice (as Little Man would say). He comes home happy, I'm still speaking to him, and he jumps right into the chaos. Just reminding myself of this resolve now that football season has started.

4. People driving 50 in the left lane. I drive a 12 passenger van. And it's usually full. And if you've ridden with me home from school with my eight and various other children - all talking loudly about their day, eating candy that they got for good behavior, holding extra large projects that were sent home and snack baskets for the next week's snacks. . . well, it's quite an adventure. After my pick-up lane experiences, I'm not usually wanting to prolong the process any longer. So if you are driving 50 in the left lane, I promise not to swerve around you while giving you a dirty look and telling my kids that some people are idiots. I might think it, but I promise not to say it out loud (baby steps).

I'm going to have to stop, now. Not that I couldn't go on. I mean, really, what mom of eight kids has this LITTLE amount of patience? People say all of the time, "Eight kids? You must be SOOOO patient!" I laugh. And then tell them that the Lord gave me eight because I'm NOT patient - but I sure hope to be when it's all said and done.

Yes, I'm usually in a hurry. Late. Tired. Busy. Overwhelmed. But it doesn't exempt me from showing the love of Christ to others. From forgiving. Being long-suffering.

So grateful that the fruit of the Spirit is just that - OF the Spirit. I don't have it in me. But now that I've bared my soul to you and confessed (a few of) my weaknesses, I hope I'll think before I respond and ask the Lord to give me His grace.

I'll let you know how it goes.