Growing Up

Little Man has become pre-occupied with "getting bigger".
Every morning, "Am I bigger, Mom?"  "Am I bigger, yet?"
He almost doesn't need the step-stool anymore to reach the sink to wash his hands.  (sniff)
"When will I be a big boy like my brothers?"

Yesterday, he told me he was "All grown up!", so he could wash his balloon all by himself.
Hmmmmm.
Wash a balloon?
I was too scared to ask, so I sent one of the girls to check on him.

It's not a bad thing this "growing up".  I will admit I've been fearful at times that he wouldn't ever grow up.  He IS the baby.  Not that I don't work on it.  Helping him be independent and do things on his own, even though there are many willing to do it for him.  But unlike our others, there isn't someone younger clamoring for attention.

He helped unload the produce co-op awhile back.  Taking each vegetable and setting it carefully on the counter like I had shown him.  Then he held up a big yellow onion and said, "What about this little guy?"

I don't want him to grow up too fast.  He is my "cuddle bug".  But at four and a half, he isn't a baby and I don't want to treat him like one.

I'm not sure what he'll do when school starts.  If he'll miss the kids desperately, or be grateful that there isn't anyone around to bug and pick on him all day.

Probably both.

We've been here and there, running errands for school supplies, shoes, etc. the last week or so.
He's found this little stuffed monkey with HUGE eyes (not unlike his) that he wants very badly at several DIFFERENT stores (a big thanks to the people marketing these things).

He's asked me over and over to get this little monkey.

And I keep saying no.

I know I spoil him sometimes.  But seriously, we don't need another stuffed animal in this house.  Ugh.

Finally, at one point when I tired of hearing him ask me about it, I said, "Little Man, we can't just BUY toys.  When the big kids want something very badly, they do jobs and earn the money to buy it themselves."

Thinking (naively, I suppose) that this would quiet him for good.

Except that NOW he wants me to give him a job.

Tonight, while getting ready for bed, he mentioned THE monkey again and I told him that I would think about some jobs he could do for me this week.  He looked at me warily (he had almost fallen asleep sitting next to Nana at my mom's birthday celebration) and said, "But Mom, I'm SO tired."

While tucking him in, we went over (once again) that maybe he could do some work to earn the money this week so he could buy the monkey.

He thought a moment.

Then said, "Mom! Like clean the whole house?"

I knew he was a good kid.  He's going to be just fine.

(This is the turtle that he found out at the farm two weeks ago.  At one point Little Man disappeared for a bit and came back without the turtle.  Then he explained to us that he had to put it in a "time out" because it kept crawling back into the water and trying to swim away from him.)

A Happy Kind of Sad

We just spent a FUN three days at the farm. . . came home this evening.  Kids are eating pizza, watching "Megamind", and some are already falling asleep. I'm listening to the washer hum (a few loads of stinky pond water soaked suits and towels will do the trick) and thinking about the next few weeks.

Football starts tomorrow.

We got the much-anticipated "class list" on Friday - the younger four school kids are SO excited to know who their teachers are and who their class-mates will be.

Volleyball started two weeks ago for my soon-to-be Freshman daughter. 

A few sleeps (as Little Man says) and we'll be into the thick of "Back to School" crazies.

So for the troops?  This weekend marked the "end" of Summer.  For the most part.  There will be a few more afternoons at the pool (I hope!), minus the older kids.  Another movie night or two.

I AM excited about Fall.  There's the weather - SO ready for that!  But also the football games.  Watching my first-born play more for the Varsity team (at least that's what he's hoping for!).  Watching my girl play volleyball on the Freshman team.  And it will be FUN to see #3 start playing on the Jr. High football team for his dad. 

But you and I both know this can only mean one thing. . .

The younger troops and I are going to be spending a LOT of time in the bleachers.

Maybe I'm grieving the end of an unusually busy Summer.  One without an "actual" vacation (although our weekends at the farm were GREAT!).  It never really slowed down. 

Maybe I'm thinking how quiet it will be with just Little Man at home, again.  And what WILL he do to stay busy as an active 4 1/2 year old?  It's not like he fits in the jogging stroller anymore.  (sigh)

Maybe I'm already dreading the assignment tablets, school notes, money that will have to be sent, not to mention HOMEWORK, and all of the projects that will need to be done, forheavenssake.

Maybe most of all, I'm already missing the Coach.  Practice may not start until tomorrow, but football is already on his mind.  In a big way.

The seasons?  They are a-changing.  They always will.  Back to school August HEAT will turn into cool Friday night football games.  Which will turn into ice-storms and Christmas and basketball games four nights a week.  Time is passing more quickly every year.  We have more and more to keep up with.  The kids are growing and changing and DRIVING and learning and laughing and. . .

I love it.

Tonight?  I'm going to make my to-do list and BE THANKFUL.

That my seven school kids can attend our wonderful school, spend their days with precious teachers, be coached by their amazing daddy and our sweet nieces, learn God's Word, and, of course, our American Christian History.

That the Coach is blessed enough to DO what he LOVES.  Teach, work with highschool kids, coach football, watch his boys on the field and his girl on the court. 

That God has provided abundantly for our every need.  And our children's education.  Given us a beautiful home to enjoy and fill with noise and fun and laughter.

That we could escape to the farm for the weekend. . . where the kids can swim in the pond, catch fish, drive the Ranger all over the dirt roads, catch frogs that gather on the windows at night, play games, work puzzles, and fall into bed exhausted every night.

That the Coach and I DID have a lovely quiet weekend alone this Summer.  Thanks to my wonderful parents and our sweet friends.  I'm going to hang onto those memories for a long time. 

That seasons DO change.  That having 7 kids 9 and under didn't last forever (Whew!).  That they are growing up, chauffeuring me all over town, and bringing the Coach and I SUCH JOY. 

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happy Sunday!

It's so stinkin' HOT!

If you live here in our great state of Oklahoma, you know that there really isn't much else to say around here.

It's hot.

Miserably hot.

OK.

Enough of that.

Two things I wanted to clear up about my rant post regarding not trying to be anyone that you aren't.

First of all, I do NOT mean to say that you shouldn't seek and follow the wise counsel of others. God's Word is very clear about some things.  And a bit foggy about others.  When you study the Bible, read books, and ASK those around you who are older, wiser, and have more experience, you will be much more ready to face challenges and trials.  And decisions.  The Coach and I need a LOT of counsel a LOT of the time.  Life is full of decisions and choices.  This doesn't mean that the counsel you seek will be what you choose to do.  But you should ask.  And listen.

"Where no counsel is, the people fall:  but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety."

Second, I do NOT mean that we should just do what comes easily.  Good grief, if I did that, I'd sit on the couch and eat cereal and watch talk shows (I dream about doing it, but never actually have.).

Instead, I get up early, go for a painful (when WILL it get easier?) run in the miserable heat, drink gallons of water while trying to stop sweating, shower, drink a protein shake (not cereal!), and go on my way to pick up kids, and take kids, and pick up kids. . .

"But I discipline my body and keep it under control, less after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."

What comes "naturally" to me is often NOT what I should be doing.  However, God has given me certain strengths and weaknesses.  I try to work on those weaknesses (there are so many), but also appreciate that He has given me a strengths, too.

I'm a more compassionate mother than I am a dictator.  Sometimes that's a strength, sometimes a weakness, but it's how God made me.  That doesn't mean I shouldn't continue to work on being consistent and firm with my kids.  But it's also taken me a long time to realize that I'm not going to be the kind of parent who doesn't let the kids eat when they are hungry or watch TV now and then.  And they'll live.  God's grace covers my (sometimes) push-over parenting just like He covers the harshness of others.

It's all His grace, People.

And now, back to the weather.

Wednesday morning, I ran early so the Coach and I could run together.  We've started running together two days a week (the two days he doesn't have to leave the house at 6:00), for the first time since training for this.  This morning we both had to be out the door earlier than usual (for a Wednesday), so we went running at 5:45.

I'm a "half-empty" kind of girl, so I'll try to be positive (not natural for me!).  When my body is only half-awake, it only hurts half as much.  That's a good thing.

However, falling asleep while stretching isn't.

And at 5:45 AM, there wasn't much talking from my direction.  Which made it easier for me to breathe.  The Coach probably enjoyed the quiet.  The lack of the blazing sun beating down on us, was almost worth being bleary-eyed.  Almost.

He can still run circles around me, even though he hasn't run much since the Austin Half-marathon.  I HAVE been out there four days a week, huffing and puffing up and down the hills, and he's STILL in better shape, doing nothing.  Let's be honest. . . he was BORN in better shape than I'll ever be.  I'm not going to try to be something I'm not, right?  So it's all good.

The heat will break, eventually.  It always does.  And I hear that an unusually hot Summer means an unusually harsh Winter is on our way.  This makes my kids happy because they LOVE those snow/ice days.  Can't wait.

Happy Saturday!

A Quiet Moment!

A slightly cloudy afternoon here at the troops, in spite of the 100+ temperatures.

I'm not exactly sure why it's quiet, just now.

It's delightful.

"My Fair Lady" is playing in the living room.  Some kids are eating lunch, others have already eaten and have gone back to playing.

American Girl dolls/school/vacation something or other.

And for once this week?

No one is screaming at anyone else.

I know my kids shouldn't yell.  But they do.  And I know they shouldn't say certain things.  But they do.

We are all learning to live together and get a long and give up our rights.

It's part of life.

(And I'm sorry to say I yell every now and then, too.)

In between all of the driving to and fro. . . running errands. .  . appointments, practices, and just LIFE (meaning meals and laundry, of course). . . it hasn't felt much like "Summer" at all around here.

Oh.  Someone is yelling. . . the quiet didn't last long, did it?

If I could hire someone to work here, at the troops, it would be someone who could follow the children around and tell them to "turn that off, please", "flush, please", "go back and close that, please", "hang it up when you are done, please", etc. etc.

I know I'm the mom.  And it's my job.  But I'm tired of it.

And while we are dreaming. . . I'd hire a chauffeur, too.  Think of all I could get done if I could just be HOME.

We DID clean out the girls' overflowing closet and drawers.  It's very nice to have it done.  And it only took 4 hours, weeping and gnashing of teeth, and LOTS of, "come back here, we aren't finished, yet!"

We also traded out the Legos for the Playmobil.  We only have one set of a million pieces out at any given time, the other stays stored in the attic.  The Legos have been out for months.  So it was time.  Or so I thought.

The fighting over the pieces of "food" may convince me otherwise.  Maybe they have a set with JUST food that I could order.  It seems to be the most desired of all items.

The school year is remarkably busy here.  Somehow I wait all year for Summer in the hopes that there WILL be some quiet.  Some weeks that aren't so booked.  Some days when we can just BE and not RUSH.

The truth is, all year we put things off and schedule them for Summer, "when it won't be so busy".  Leaving ourselves overbooked, rushing around, getting up early instead of sleeping in, trying to fit it all in before school starts, again, in a few short weeks.

Maybe because of that, when a quiet moment DOES come (like the hour or two I have this afternoon), I am trying to relish it.  Enjoy it.  Maybe even fall asleep.

Who knows when it will happen, again!


Happy Summer, Sweet Friends!

The longer I live. . . the less I know. . .

Happy End of June!

After one very busy, very quick, VERY short month, I have to say. . .

I can't wait for school to start, again, so I can get a NAP!  Ha!  (with sincere apologies to my precious homeschooling friends who have their kids home all year!)

And Little Man?  The poor dude is worn slick (as the Coach says).  Fell asleep at the dinner table last night.  At 6:00.  He's missing his naps, too!

Summer isn't defined anymore by sleeping in, lazy days, relaxing by the pool (although we have fit it in once or twice) OR getting big projects done.  I miss those days!  And I have two rooms that seriously need painting!

We're too busy surviving life with our older kids going in various directions.

One of the nicest things about getting older (and I have aged since my last post (sigh),  happy 38th to me) is realizing that MY family is MY family.

It won't look like yours.  No matter how hard I try (because I think you are all wonderful!).

My marriage?  Unique.  Our relationship may have similarities to others, but it won't be the same.

We aren't the same.

My eight kids?  NOT the same.  Incredibly (and sometimes frustratingly) unique.

Assembly line parenting would be soooooo much easier, don't you think?

I used to do things just because other people that I admired did them.  Hmmmm.  I didn't have the security to do something different because I felt it was best for US.

That's not all bad. . . I did some things right because of it.  But I also did things that didn't "fit" me or my marriage or my family.  I tried to be "like" other moms or families without thinking about whether or not it was something that the Coach and I really felt was important for US.  Without realizing that my strengths and weaknesses are different than anyone else's.

Because we aren't anyone else and what works for you may or may not work for me.

It's funny. . . when I started this blog way back when, I fully intended to try to be an encouragement by sharing with you what works for the troops.  How we stay organized, plan meals, deal with laundry, coordinate schedules, fit four kids in a room. . . you know. . . that kind of thing.

But it hasn't really worked out that way.  I don't do anything that amazing or special.  Most of what I do you wouldn't want to hear about anyway.  It wouldn't work in your house like it works in mine.

That's OK.

I'm not talking, of course, about the absolutes of life. . . the rights and wrongs. . .

It's odd to me, though, how we make things that ARE NOT absolutes into rights and wrongs.

I could tell you how we do things around here.  I will, if you ask.  Usually.  But you know what?  It probably won't help you.  You have a different spouse, a different home, different children, a different financial situation.  And besides that. . . you don't want to be like us!  Trust me!

I'm all for teaching and training my kids.  But you know what?  The battles I chose with my toddlers will be different than the battles you chose (both of us had better win, though!).  The things that I make a priority will be different than the things you do.

Maybe part of growing as a parent is accepting that I will parent differently, my kids personalities will be different, our family will be different.

It may be a big deal to you that your kids don't eat between meals (as an example).  I let my kids have an afternoon snack.  Is this wrong?  I do laundry every day.  Does that mean doing laundry one day a week is wrong?  Will my clothes organizational system for eight kids work for your three?  Probably not.  Do you buy powder or liquid laundry detergent (or make your own!)?  Aaargh!

See what I mean?  We can get to the place where we think WE know best what will work for others and forget that God made us all very different!

So it's not that I'm against blogs that share laundry tips and how to save money (I read them!) and how to homeschool more effectively.  Take what's helpful and use it!  Let what isn't helpful go.  Sometimes we have to try it out to know the difference!

Trust the Lord to lead you and your family towards loving and serving Him as He created you to do.

As He created YOU to do.

Don't worry about being like anyone else.  Except our Lord Jesus.

I've given up on sharing about how things work, here at the troops.  Instead, I'm all for letting you know that we fail on a regular basis.  Way more often than we do anything right.  And our Heavenly Father still pours our His sufficient grace.

It's not about being the perfect parent, wife, home manager, cook, housekeeper, child-trainer.  It's about being totally imperfect at all of that. . . and having a Savior who loves me still.

Happy Wednesday!

Made for Eachother

This evening, while I should have been urging the little ones to an earlier bedtime (so hard in the Summer!), I perused some of my blog bookmarks that have long been neglected.

I clicked on "Amy's Humble Musings" - a blog I haven't read in ages, but always enjoy (besides that it makes me feel like a city girl that lacks any life skills what-so-ever), and a few posts down, this caught my attention.  Her post led me to this post (isn't that how reading blogs is?) and I found it sobering.

You know by now, I hope, that I seek to be real and honest in my writing (if you can call my ramblings on about life with eight children and how overwhelmed I am, actual writing).  I won't, of course, write here about conflict with my Coach.  This isn't the place for it.  Besides, he IS amazing.  You know this.  I am so very grateful for him and how patiently he puts up with me.

That doesn't, in any way, mean that we don't HAVE conflict.  We are human.  We are sinful.  We are selfish (me, in particular, with the selfish part).  We don't always respond as we should or laugh when we ought and all too often we choose to be defensive when we should be willing to admit wrong, or lash out when we should forgive.

This is marriage.  This is real life.

Life is about relationships.  With God and with others.  Marriage is the closest one of all on this earth.  Relationships are tough.  Sometimes?  Impossible.  Always?  Humbling.  If we are honest.  Because we are dealing with other people.

When the Coach and I were first married, I marveled about our similarities.  There were many - maybe more than most newlyweds.  Our upbringing and our values were almost identical (in the realm of worldview and belief systems).  We thought alike about the world, about God, about the Bible, about children.  It seemed almost too easy to fall into life together because we rarely, if ever, disagreed about anything at any time.

However, God has a way of bringing us, sometimes all in a rush, sometimes very slowly (depending upon our willingness to bend to His correction), to the end of ourselves.
Suddenly, one day, my perfectly wonderful, perfectly amazing, perfectly perfect life. . . wasn't.  Don't get me wrong.  The Coach?  He was still a wonderful husband, a faithful provider, a dependable soul that I could easily love and help and enjoy.

But me?  Not so much.  I really wanted to be in control (big surprise, huh?).  I was horribly selfish, stubborn, and determined to be right (Because I was, of course.).  In my heart of hearts, I'd never realized how ugly I was inside.  How manipulative.  How spoiled in having my own way.  How desperately I needed the continuing work of my Savior in my heart.  And still do.

That day (many years ago), my world seemed to come crashing down around me.  I was trying so hard.  Working my best at being a sweet, submissive wife.  A calm, consistent mother.  I was failing miserably.  That perfect marriage?  It seemed hopeless, suddenly, out of reach.  I hadn't really told him how hard it was to adjust to marriage, motherhood, and motherhood, and motherhood, and . . . you get the idea.  I hadn't been humble enough to share my struggles with him.  Or sensitive enough to realize that it wasn't easy for him, either.  We hadn't learned to offer each other grace.

Because you see. . . for all we had in common (and still do), we were NOT the same.  He is the 6th born of 10 children, the middle in a pack of boys.  I am the 3rd born, baby, and only girl.  Big difference.  Although growing up with brothers did make it easier for me to adjust to living with a man (and eventually four boys, too), I had a doting father who indulged me, probably far too often.  He had a firm mother who taught him frugality and responsibility.

It isn't easy, after all, to join your life with someone else's.  Anyone else's.  Whether your backgrounds, upbringings, financial situations, beliefs, or families are similiar or not.

Only by God's grace.

I hope and pray that I have grown and changed.  I know I don't "feel" like I'm a good wife or mother very often anymore.  I also know the Coach knows ME, now.  The real, impatient, not always gracious ME.  He knows it and he loves me still.  No.  Not still.  More.

He's still a man - strong, consistent, faithful.  I'm still a woman - emotional, unpredictable, easily overwhelmed.  We won't ever be "the same".  But we are learning that those differences are God's perfect gift to us.  Without marriage to my Coach, without motherhood, without 8 children, financial pressures, health issues (the trials of life). . I wouldn't have ever realized what I was really like inside.  I see, now, what a blessing the pressure has been.  It's revealed things in me that need to change.  It has, as I've learned to depend on the Lord and seek Him in the pressure, begun to change me.  Some days the process seems painfully slow.  We are far from perfect.

But we are perfect for eachother.

And I love him.

We are learning that our differences are what make us stronger.  We are beginning to bear the fruit of learning to live in harmony and we are learning to love the contrasts in our personalities.  We know that we need each other.  For balance.  For growth.  Even for character development (which is usually painful).  I love that I don't WANT to change him, anymore.  That he's given up on changing me (it was hopeless, anyway).

Marriage is not for the faint of heart.  Joining yourself to another soul for life is not easy.  It's not simple.  And it's a lot of work.  It's not the ultimate "happy ending".  In spite of what we see in the movies, it is NOT all about feelings and romance. It requires a lot of dying to self, laying down your life, giving up of rights, and commitment.

But it's OH so worth it. 

If you are struggling in your marriage (and we all are at some level at some time), "get off the island". Find someone who is wise and who you can trust.  Be humble enough to ask for and get help. Marriages are failing all around you, don't let yours be one of them.

Most problems don't have simple, easy answers (and I hate it when someone says that they do).  Most struggles take TIME to work through.  The Coach and I have a long way to go in our marriage, too.  But I can promise you that your marriage and mine are worth fighting for.  Marriage was God's idea, after all.  He's in the business of redeeming it.  When you and your spouse can begin to persevere through trials, learn to be humble, forgive each other over and over, appreciate your differences, and above all, depend on the Lord for the grace it takes to live along side each other. . . your marriage (and the joy you have in it) will grow by leaps and bounds.

Perfect?  No.  Wonderful?  Absolutely! 

To God be the Glory.

Where's the off switch when you need it?

Wishing, tonight, that I could turn my brain "off" and go to sleep.

How DOES the Coach do that?  (must have something to do with boxes vs. spaghetti. . . hmmmm)

Instead, the to-do lists, the calendar, the people I want to check on, the people I'm praying for, the things the Coach and I need to discuss (yes, we keep a list), the knee pain following Saturday's longer run, the pile of wedding invitations, the not-so-picked-up house, the bills, the various current issues with each kid, the flower beds that need to be weeded, the run I didn't take this morning, tomorrow's busy schedule. . .all rolling around up there refusing to quiet down.

And the son who is hiking around some canyon in Mexico with his cousin (and a big group from our school)?

That's up there, too.

In the form of prayers, mostly.  And excitement for him and this adventure in sharing the love of Jesus.

And then there is the unspeakable joy of having my Coach and my girl home.  Ahhhhhh. 

And somewhere up there the pan of homemade cinnamon rolls is calling my name. 

But I'm not listening.

Not yet, anyway.

Maybe there is a little bit of grieving over the fact that the "lazy days" of Summer seem to be a thing of the past, here at the troops.  Looking at the calendar (this week took two pages to print it all), it's going to be anything but lazy.  Now it's all about sports camps and workouts and VBS and inner-city day camps, piano lessons, weddings, Summer league ball. . .

We're going to have to put some "lazy" on the calendar just to make it happen.

But I'm not sad that the troops are growing up.  Well.  A little, maybe.  But they are turning into great young adults.  Interesting to talk to.  Fun to be with.  Making me grateful (most days) to be their mama.  And they aren't ALL grown up.  Yet.

Now back to bed I go. 

Happy Tuesday!

Oh wait.

Wednesday.

Happy Wednesday!

(now where IS that switch?)