Friday, April 22, 2011

Well, that explains a lot!

We've been having some discussions here at the troops about some of the differences in the way that men and women think.

It all started when Daughter #2 wanted the Coach to help her figure out her ride to her volleyball tournament last Saturday.  Except the Coach was watching how to videos on texturing walls on the laptop. So I had to explain to her that it wasn't that he didn't care, his mind was focused on something else.  But she couldn't understand why watching a video meant he couldn't ALSO think about her ride predicament.

Since she's a female and all.

Then at lunch yesterday, with my mom, she and I were talking (as we always do), moving from one topic to another with lightening speed.  One of the boys said, "What does THAT have to do with THAT and how did you start talking about THAT when you hadn't even finished saying what you started to say about THAT???"

Now if YOU are a female (I'll assume most of you are, since you are reading my blog, which my brother has informed me is, "Nice, but too girly for me."), you know exactly what we were doing.

But my sons?

It was perplexing to them.

So Grandmother (Who is always teaching the kids something.  Always.  Just ask them.) began to explain that boys brains are like boxes that open and close.  Everything has it's own box.  Only one box is open at a time.  No box touches any other box. And they even have a NOTHING box (I'm so jealous of that.).  They can open and close those boxes at will.  When they are thinking about "work", they aren't thinking about "home".  But they can drive home and close the "work" box and open the "home" box.

Girls, on the other hand, have brains like spaghetti (which my boys found HYSTERICAL) and each thing is like a string that touches every other string.  It's all there.  All the time.  Connected to everything else. The only time something is "out" of our thinking, is when it's solved or finished or taken care of.  Otherwise, it's there.  Always there.

(This may or may not be why I am SO tired all of the time!)

She also told them that when you ask a guy what he's thinking about and he says, "Nothing."  He means it.  I added that when you ask a girl what she's thinking about and she says, "Nothing," she's probably mad at you.


My kids found this all very interesting and there was lots of, "That's true!" and "I'm like that." heard around the table.

Then at dinner that night, we started discussing it, again.  Daughter explaining that it all started because she couldn't get dad's attention when he was watching something on the computer.

Son #1 said, "Yeah.  It's true.  Like at lunch, when we were talking about this?  I was thinking, 'Food'.  Then a car would go by, outside, and I'd think, 'Cool car!'.  Then when the car was gone I'd think, 'Food!'"

At this point, I was laughing so hard I thought I'd be sick.
Another good illustration of this difference is using the idea of a computer desktop.  Men open ONE window at a time.  Before they open another window, they close the one on the desktop.  And yes, there is a "nothing" window here, too.

Women, on the other hand have EVERY POP UP BOX open.  All at the same time and all together.  We only close one if it's not longer relevant because we've fixed it, finished it, or delegated it to someone else.  We can't open and close them at will.  They ARE open.

The reason I'm telling you this is because it's important to teach your kids about men and women, relationships, how to understand one another, and how to get along.  I have parents who were fabulous at teaching us as we went through life.  They used the examples around us to teach us about God, marriage, church, family, and relationships.

THIS is how our kids learn.

The laughter is just a bonus.

And don't you think it's amazing that God made us different, unique, and perfectly fit for life as male and female?  If the Coach tried to juggle this household, he'd go nuts.  Too much all at the same time.  However, I don't have the FOCUS that he needs to do his job.  He can zero in and get things done, solve problems, etc.  I just flit from here to there. 

So we ARE different, but instead of being frustrated by those differences?  We see God's purpose in them.

The topic has continued here at the troops.  Last night the Coach was talking to me about a situation, while I was writing and answering e-mails.  No problem, right?  But then he started expecting me to answer his questions, with more than "Yes, uh huh, no, I think so."  Like REAL answers to REAL questions WHILE I was reading and typing and thinking about my email.

Finally, I said, "OK.  Here's the thing.  I can LISTEN to you and think about what you are saying WHILE I'm reading and writing.  But if you want me to enter this discussion with more than just a quick response, you'll have to wait until I finish this!"

We were both laughing by the time I said this because here we had just been talking about how women can think about everything at the same time.  He said, "You mean you CAN'T think about it all at once?"

Being able to laugh at YOURSELF is the best bonus of all.

*Son #4 just came in and said, "Mom?  You know how we were looking at all of the cool cars go by at Chick-fil-A on Wednesday?  I could do that all day long!"

Happy Friday!

(Thanks, Carrie, for sending this - THIS is SO funny!)

1 comment:

Amanda said...

So true Karen! As always, your posts are so relevant. I read the book "Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti" but it nowhere came close to listening to the authors speak on Focus on the Family. Such helpful teaching tools!