29 years

Two people who barely know each other, don't have a clue who they are, don't know what their weaknesses and strengths are, and have very little life experience... decide to get married and then stand up in front of God and everybody and promise to love for LIFE.

Bizarre.

I didn't even really know the coach as well as most couples know each other.  I knew some things about him... things that have remained true to this day. That he loved God, was smart, disciplined and determined.  Handsome.  He's changed a lot in 29 years - but his character hasn't.  Three houses, two 12 passenger vans, 3 minivans, 8 kids, 7 highschool graduations, 5 college graduations, 4 weddings, the death of a parent, the evolution of a career, and now grandparents of four sweet babies.  Watching him navigate it all and lead me through (especially the hard) things has given me tremendous love and respect for this man.

We thought we knew some things at 21 and 24.  We knew a lot about marriage before we were married.  We knew a lot about parenting before we had kids.  But parenting is the single most humbling thing I've ever experienced.  I would say it's impossible to have a good marriage if you're selfish.  And It's extremely difficult to parent well if you are too proud to continue to learn - and admit it when you're wrong.  God uses all of it to teach us so much about ourselves and how to trust Him.

I recently heard someone say... "You have 4-5 great loves in your life... if you're really lucky, they'll turn out to the be same person."  We've been so "lucky."  We are so different than we were 29 years ago.  We're different than we were one year ago.  I wouldn't want to stay the same.  I want to grow and learn and change.  Both of us, changing and evolving and learning... and heading in the same direction AND closer together as the years pass.  I'm so grateful that on December 17th, 1994, I stood there and promised for life.  So grateful. 

This year I turned 50, became a Marmee for the 3rd time, lost 50 pounds, and ran my first full marathon.  The Coach loved me last year and he loves me this year.  He loved me at 21 and he loves me even more 29 years later.  Yes, we would both say that those 450+ training miles helped us grow closer.  Something about getting up on a Saturday morning in the cold and dark to run for three hours... is a bonding experience.  But we could say the same about the other hard things we've gone through.

When we were newlyweds, the Coach had very full football and basketball seasons. Then you add 8 kids in the mix and all of their activities and school and life... and for so many years our priority was just survival.  We enjoyed it.  We really did.  We worked hard to find date nights and weekends away once a year and it was GOOD.  Really good.

But now?  We can talk every evening in the hot tub.  We can spend weekends together (mostly not at kid's activities).  We can be home more evenings and discuss what we're reading, what we're learning, what God is teaching us.  It's amazing.  I could never have imagined how good it would be.

I know we wouldn't be HERE without the THERE.  The surviving part.  I wouldn't trade it or the amazing humans we call ours for anything.  But this sure is a sweet season.  Happy 29th, Coach.