Because I'm Thursday kind of tired.
The Coach and Daughter (#2) left for early basketball practice before I was awake. . . no, that's not true. Their clanging around, opening and closing cabinets and turning lights on and off woke me (and I know the Coach tried so very hard to be quiet!). After the Coach's alarm woke me. Because his alarm wakes me and I wake him. Sometimes I wish I were the one who can't hear.
But I digress.
Daughter (#6) is sitting beside me at the kitchen table writing her spelling words. She just told me, "Mom, I don't GET the whole 'Mrs. Troop' thing. It's like you're trying to be funny. But you're not."
Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead.
And for the record, I'm not trying to be funny.
All of the girls' clothes that were stored in the attic from Daughter (#2), who is almost 16 (yikes!), are all over the playroom. At some point I did quit saving them (there is a 5 year space between my first two girls), but these were still up there taking up space in my brain. Tell me I'm not the only one who has to get things OUT OF MY HOUSE before I can stop thinking about them?
Last night, after dinner, was one of those moments. You know. When you look around your house and see kids everywhere, projects being working on (and messes!), homework, reading, dishes not quite done, brownies baking for a class party, a Nerf gun war coming through the kitchen now and then, laundry piled high needing to be folded, the piles and lists on my desk literally taking over, the phone ringing, clothes to be found for PE and basketball today, what IS that weird smell (discovered later to be the fact that Son #1 cleaned out his gym bag from football. Last Friday.). . . And MOM can you type the computer pass word ONE MORE TIME so I can find a picture of a blue bird?
A full, noisy, happy, beautiful life.
But a messy one.
I want to take mental pictures of these moments. All eight kids around the table (YAY!) for dinner, talking non-stop about funny things that happened at school, telling me about practice, all while Little Man makes funny faces and has to be brought back TO the table to eat, and I keep telling the little girls to put their knees down (why DO they like to sit like frogs?), and someone knocks someones cup of pomegranate tea over, and can you put strawberry jam on my muffin, Mom?
I don't want to forget it.
Well. . . sometimes I do. While lying on a desert island with a Diet DP in my hand and the surf rolling up and touching my toes (and could I be 20 pounds thinner while I'm dreaming?). . .
The here and the now. It's where we live. And I want to LIVE it. The noise and chaos of it all. Even when my instinct is to shut it all out and make it just STOP and be quiet. . .
It's beautiful. And blessed. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Because you know what? Son (#1) will be gone in another 2 years (sooner than that, actually). Once he heads off to college the troops will dwindle quickly. And before that? There will be lots of nights at the gym and evenings when kids are here and there and not HOME. Soon we'll have two drivers and it's only going to be busier and crazier and these evenings at home will be what we have to FIGHT for (like we did during football/volleyball season).
Lord, help me to soak it all in and NOT be drowned by it. Help me to be grateful and joyful and not nag and complain about the MESS of it all.
Life is good. And messy. And good.