Often all at the same time.
When your kids fail? You take responsibility. (I'm not saying you SHOULD, I'm saying I DO.) I should have... I wish I'd... if only we'd...
The Coach and I take our God-given responsibility very seriously. I know it's my job to teach and train, to love and discipline, to make wise decisions.
It's my job.
It's also impossible. They are each completely different and we are imperfect. Some days it feels like we fail more often then we get it right.
And when they succeed? Make wise decisions, work hard, love others, serve without complaining? We can't take credit for that. Because it's truly God's work in their hearts. Not our doing.
So in some ways, it's a lose lose. You take the responsibility for their mistakes. You can't take credit for their successes.
The other night, the Coach and I were talking about how having adult kids is a humbling experience. There is a WHOLE lot of "keeping your mouth shut". You are sometimes holding your breath waiting to see if they'll do what's right. Or even just what you'd like them to do.
After discussing this, each kid and their various challenges and decisions ahead, we both started laughing. "Why does anyone even HAVE kids to begin with??"
We were kidding, of course.
Because in spite of the lose lose guarantee, we would do it all over again.
Parenting has taught US so much. We are different people than we would be without each of them in our family. I know we've missed the mark as parents at times. But I'm rather fond of the eight people they are becoming.
I know there are still rough days, ahead. I can count on it. Thankfully God's grace will be there, just like it has been in the past.
This lose lose situation feels very much like a WIN.