Last night we started "Confessions of a Shopaholic" at 10 PM. Yikes.
I figure A) I don't sleep well when he's gone, anyway. And B) Between camps and parties and jobs and swim lessons I've only had two or three kids here for dinner every night. Does anyone even bother to cook for two kids? Apparently, I don't.
There are a zillion things I miss about the Coach when he's gone. But one thing does stand out.
In this house? He's the one with the positive attitude.
I'm the doom despair and agony on me, overwhelmed, I'll never make it, it won't work (OK, maybe a bit of a drama queen?)...
He just gives me a smile and says, "It'll get done." "It'll be OK." "We'll make it." "We'll do better next time."
Of course he can't guarantee these things. (See how I'm so positive?) But somehow hearing it allows me to take a deep breath, quit stressing out (as much) and keep on going.
His football guys gave him this at the end of the season. On each coach's photo they put what the guys agreed the coach was known for saying. My Coach didn't so much want his picture for his own desk (ha!), so I stole it for mine. I looked at it many times before it hit me what exactly it says about him.
He's always sure that the best is yet to come.
I know that sounds silly, but I certainly don't live that way most of the time. I'm sad the kids are growing up and leaving. I'm discouraged that my body is aging. I miss the kids that are gone all of the time. I struggle to find hope that my family will be restored. I feel like so much suffering is in vain.
He knows it's not.
Because whatever else the future holds, we can trust our Heavenly Father who holds it all. No, our kids will not always do what we would like for them to do. No, our siblings may not follow the Lord. No, our parents health won't always be restored. No, we probably won't ever NOT be tired.
But the coach looks forward to what IS to come. Today? We have each other. He tells me over and over again - YES we will miss these goofy kids - but Lord willing we'll have some time to ourselves one day (Woohoo!). And yes, life will continue to hold sorrow and illness and broken relationships. But no matter what? We have secure salvation in the righteous of Christ.
Puts in all in perspective, doesn't it?
So even though I miss his handsome face and his voice saying I love you (he can only text from Haiti) and his telling me to go to bed already and his reminding me I've already used the dining out budget for the next three calendar years and how he jumps in to help with dinner chores and laundry folding and bedtime reading...
Most of all, I miss him telling me that I'm gonna make it.
I spend a lot of time when the Coach travels praying for my sweet friends who are walking through this season of life without their husbands or wives (lots of prayer time when I can't sleep). I know I can't imagine for a second what that's like. But I appreciate the reminder to lift them up to the Lord and ask Him to meet their every need in Christ.
Watching them walk through so much heartache, they've taught me something.
Those of us who are in Christ? We're gonna make it.
And maybe I'm starting to make that my own, even without the Coach here to tell me.
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Happy Tuesday/almost Wednesday Dear Ones.