Looking Back

On Father's Day, we decided to pull out the home movies.  We watched Colorado Camp vacations with babies (we must have completely lost our minds!), we watched countless birthdays, kids running around in the back yard, learning to ride bikes, and even a birth (didn't let a camera in until my 7th.  Ha!)! We even went waaaaay back and watched my brothers, uncle, and friends wrapping our car in Saran Wrap in the hotel parking lot on the night of our wedding.  Pretty funny.

I don't remember so many of those moments.  Watching them is sweet.  And sometimes painful.  I watch those happy babies and sweet toddlers and can't help but think that they had some very hard things coming.  I'm glad we didn't know - God's grace.

The Coach and I kept looking at each other during the videos - I think our memories are pretty vague.  They were GREAT kids!  Not perfect, of course, but even as little ones they sat still and listened and obeyed.  We ate dinners at the table together and spent time playing together.  It wasn't perfect - and it was a lot of work - but we felt blessed to have these little (now big) kids and the privilege of watching them grow.  We are so tired now, we could never pull that off for even one day.  Haha!

It was a crazy season with so many little ones.  But it was simple and it was good.  I would do it all over, again.  As long as I didn't have to do it at THIS age.  Whew!

The kids kept laughing and saying, "How did we not DIE?"  We let our kids PLAY and CLIMB and RUN - and also fall down.  We let them have BB guns and do messy crafts and ride bikes and climb play-sets (that weren't safe at all - ha!). I couldn't believe how calm the Coach and I were in the middle of all of that.  But I DO think that letting them do hard things  - AND often fail - was a good thing.  I'm proud of the younger us. Even if I don't really remember any of it.

They've grown so beautifully into ADULTS who tackle hard things.  They love well and work hard and are so loyal to each other.  It's pretty amazing to watch them as toddlers - and see those same qualities that became their strengths as adults.

I'm over thinking it all, of course.  Mostly it was just a crazy bunch of SUPER cute kids running around like wild Indians.  But they were my wild Indians and HOW I loved them.

Our culture has decided that suffering is to be avoided at all costs - we advocate abortion, assisted suicide, and drugs to prevent suffering.  We don't want anyone to experience pain or hardship.  But suffering is a part of LIVING.  If I had seen the suffering that was to come (for Son #3, in particular), would I have decided that his life wasn't worthwhile and denied him the privilege of living AND suffering?  OF COURSE NOT.  His life has been a gift and a blessing - and because of Christ, his life and his suffering both have PURPOSE.

Suffering is a part of life.  I hate it.  But it's true.  And if we don't give our kids a chance to do hard things - often by trying and not always succeeding - when they are little, how will they ever be able to face truly hard things later on?

When we know Christ, we understand that suffering isn't worthless.  Our kids need to know that there is purpose in their lives - even if life holds hardship and suffering. And can I tell you something?  Their lives WILL be hard.  At some point, in some way.  Give them the tools to tackle those hard things as little ones - God's Word, faith in Him, and lots of opportunities to DO HARD THINGS.

I would do it all, again. Even if watching those years feels like an out of body experience.  The blessings have been too numerous to count.  And God has been so faithful.  We've seen Him give us strength and grace in the small things AND in the big things.  Always faithful.  I wouldn't trade the opportunity to walk that out in front of my eight people for anything.  It's been beautiful.

There's still so much to look forward to!  And whatever lies ahead?  God will be there with us in that, too.

Happy Thursday!

Summer is for Projects

The last two weeks at the troops, we...

Graduated one from college

Moved two home from college

Hosted a graduation party at our home

Graduated one from high school

Hosted a graduation party with friends

Went on a road trip (I almost said vacation, but that doesn't seem accurate. Ha!)

We're home and tired and the house is a disaster.  But we're together - and it's Summer!

Finally, for the first time in weeks, I'm taking time to sit and reflect a bit.  Re-evaluate a bit.  Go over some goals from last Winter.

I've failed miserably.  It's bad when one goal was "journal more consistently" and I had to go back to April to find my last entry.  Ha!

Thankfully, at almost 46, I'm somewhat used to that.  Setting six goals and only meeting one in 5 months.

Choosing today to appreciate that I've changed ONE habit for good.   That's more than I would have changed if I hadn't set goals and made the effort.  Changing one habit is enough.  For now.  One thing at a time.

My garage is full of storage tubs and furniture and donation bags.  The laundry is piled up.  I'm currently overwhelmed with all of the hidden messes - the attic, the lockers, the kitchen junk drawer(s), the armoire in our bedroom full of kids art, the fact that my digital photos are a disaster - and haven't been organized or printed into an album since Little Man was a baby, the file cabinet in the garage...

Things that get left undone when life is FULL and LOUD and BUSY.

So today, I'll tackle one of those.  Probably the attic, which will lead to cleaning up the garage.  Just START somewhere and make a little progress for today - before camps and mission trips and Summer activities use up the extra time.

The truth is, all of this stuff won't last forever - messy or not. But these people, who are living life here and loving and learning and growing and working together... they are what really matters.  I despise the mess and lack of organization in some areas, but I delight in the LIFE that creates the mess.

So here's to Summer time, 7 kids back at the troops, projects, messes, and SLOW progress on changing habits.  It's the stuff of life.  And it's good.

I'm thankful, every day, that GOD is faithful, even when I'm not.

That GOD'S love is everlasting, even when I struggle to be kind and patient.

The GOD loves me, even when I'm not as disciplined or consistent as I want to be.

That GOD is trustworthy and sovereign, even when I have not idea what I'm doing.

So much to be thankful for.

Happy Saturday!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Last week's SO VERY TIRED (and lack of humor) might have been related to the fact that school is winding down.  But before it ends, it gets CRAZY.  Somehow each year, I forget that the last two weeks of school completely suck the life out of me... while simultaneously filling my heart completely full to overflowing.  It might have also been 5th grade science camp (for the Coach, too), Jr. Retreat, and the state tennis tournament.  Hmmmm.

I'm not a big fan of mother's day.  But I am a HUGE fan of my troops.  And they knocked it out of the park.  First, my two OBU students showed up at church - which I did NOT expect!  They know my favorite mom thing is having them all in church with me.  Best gift ever.

Then lunch with my parents and in-laws, aunt and uncles... family.  Love them.

The Coach and the Troops all gave me the sweetest notes.  Sweetest.  I'm so thankful.  Turns out that my kids are growing into amazing adults who love WELL.  They're my favorite people.

Face-time call from the newlyweds, errands and coffee with the middles, dinner out with Coach and the younger kids, all in all a beautiful day. The Coach even ordered gluten free cupcakes from a bakery and picked them up on Saturday.  Wow.

Mother's Day followed a fun weekend at the tennis state tournament.  As we drove away at almost 10 PM (rain delays) - with our senior boy and his cousin/doubles partner getting 7th IN THE WHOLE STATE - that's so awesome, isn't it? -  the Coach turned to me and said, "Well, that's the last time he'll play as a Crusader,"  I'll admit a tear or two.  What a fun six years it's been with this kid.

Son (#1) and his beautiful wife sent a card and a gift for Mother's Day - I'm so proud of them.  Not just because they are thoughtful and sweet (which they are!), but because they are doing so well making a HOME together.  Just for fun, I watched wedding videos today (to-do list avoidance at it's finest!) - my heart is so full.

Daughter (#2) is DONE with nursing school!  I can't believe how fast these four years have gone.  She took her last final yesterday.  I could cry (it's a theme, lately) thinking about how hard she's worked and how well she's done.  She's precious. I'm going to need my waterproof mascara for her pinning tomorrow and graduation on Friday.

Oh Son (#3).  Finishing up finals today and tomorrow.  Sophomore year as a Math Education major and he's killing it.  I'm so proud of him.  The next week is FULL of doctor's appointments, but he's going to spend two weeks teaching in Roatan and we are all so happy for him.  Every day a gift.

Son (#4) left for his senior trip to Boston, yesterday (the Coach was our hero and did the 4 AM airport run).  This kid is SO MUCH FUN.  And I can't wait to celebrate him next week.  Four down, four to go.  He was my football/basketball/tennis kid and we've loved every minute.

Daughter (#5) - how WILL she be a senior next year?  I'm going to need a bigger box of tissues.  And by the way, she's smart and funny and I love her.  And her sweet attitude about giving up her room (again!) for her big sis who is moving home from college.  We have the most flexible kids on the planet - I'm convinced.  My tiny girl played volleyball, basketball AND for the first time, tennis, this year and she made them all FUN.

Daughter (#6).  Can you tell I'm a HUGE fan of my kids?  Because they are amazing.  Not perfect, but amazing.  And this girl is loud and dramatic and awesome.  And always up for driving me on my errands.  Yes!  She played all three sports with her sis - they are inseparable.  And funny.  And addicted to sonic.

Daughter (#7) made dinner last night, cleaned the kitchen, and is the resident baker (I retired some time ago).  She's sweet, cheerful, borrows clothes without asking (but that's literally her only fault), and is crazy athletic - growing up way too fast like her beautiful older sisters.  The Coach needs a bigger gun, for sure.

And Little Man.  Oh boy.  He's taller than three of his sisters. He's going to be taller than me, before I can blink.  He and Maggs pick on each other mercilessly.  I'm loving every minute with this kid.  Even though sometimes I have to say "No. More. Words."  Today he got a big art award at school and I had to fight the tears.  So many memories with ALL of the troops.  Son (#3) being the art teacher's aide and working on her chalkboard all year.  Son (#4) getting the same award when he was just a little guy.  Following in the footsteps of 7 older siblings isn't easy, but he's blazing his own trail and we're laughing all the way.

Meanwhile, the Coach keeps faithfully loving us all in spite of the BUSIEST time of year and working on his masters.  Honestly, it would all fall apart without a lot of laughter and a LOT of love of patience.  From everyone.

See you on the flip side, school year - it's been a good one.

Summer, here we come!