Pandemic Diaries - Part 3

Wait, how many weeks have we been doing this?  I've lost count.  Oh well.  Here we are.

Feeling particularly uninspired this week.  It's hard to keep cooking, keep cleaning, keep saying "NO, you can't go," keep everyone quiet - while our night nurse sleeps during the day, keep from eating ALL OF THE FOOD, and keep working out every day, while maintaining some sort of daily routine.

We've enjoyed keeping up with family and our church group with technology.  Although, I've had to just take a day off now and then from Zoom and FaceTime and Facebook.  It can be exhausting.  I'm some weird combination, but more introvert than extrovert - and being with a house full of people for weeks on end is exhausting.  Even if they are the ones I love the most.

The wedding invitations were mailed this week, with lots of prayer.  THE dress arrived and was picked up.  We celebrated our third birthday since this whole mess began.  Three kids traded in and bought new (used) cards.  Our son had his four month scans, labs and treatment (all alone, since the clinic isn't allowing visitors to enter with patients).  We've worked in the yard, cleaned the grout in the bathrooms, and cleaned out and reorganized the pantry (my girls are amazing!).  I counted over 15 dozen cookies that were made and porch delivered to friends.

I would say this week there were more movies than board games.  More naps than evening walks. I think we're all tired.  The kids are working hard at doing school on their own.  It takes more time in many ways and the Coach spends about twice as much time teaching this way.  He also has his own class to work on - his last to finish his masters!

We're still all spending lots of time in the garage-turned-gym - thanks to the loan of a rower from my gym last week.  The kids were all sad when we returned it, Saturday.  Ha!  If I had any hope that this would continue past Summer, I'd order one.  But I really think once the college kids leave, my gym is open, and the other kids are back in Fall sports - home workouts won't continue.  Which is OK.  I'm thankful they are doing it, now.

We all have things going on that we can't talk about.  Our house is no different.  And this whole shelter in place thing has made even already difficult situations - be it health related or family related or age related - even harder.  I'm sad for that.  I wish we could comfort each other and hug each other and share time around the table.

But for now?  We're doing what we can.  Joining in with church online.  Depending on those who are near.  Praying for those who aren't with us.  We miss our married kids, but are thankful for technology that helps them feel closer.

This season WILL end.  I want to be inspired and motivated and productive.  But I also want to survive. Ha!  Sometimes, with 9 of us here, tensions run high and it's hard to keep forgiving and offering grace.  But that's my goal.

Only by God's grace.

Prayers appreciated for our 20 year old son who started running a fever on Friday. He's improving, thankfully was started on meds asap, and doesn't have respiratory symptoms. But it's beyond challenging to keep him separate from the rest of the family.  So.  Much.  Cleaning.

I don't know what this week will hold.  But God is in control and I trust Him.  I'm thankful that our circumstances don't determine our responses.  I'm thankful that the grace and strength that the Lord offers is unending and that His mercies are new every morning.

Pandemic Diaries - Part 2

*The one where he gets tested*

Just when I think I'm getting the hang of this new normal at the troops, the wheels fall off.  I finally sat down to pound out some of our experiences thus far on Wednesday.  That same day, our boy walked out and said, "I don't feel so good."

There was a time in my journey of mothering that I would have said, "You're fine, go back to bed."  But that was B.C. (and the "C" doesn't stand for Corona or COVID).  Any small thing is a big thing with someone who is immune compromised.  Even though I tried to brush it off (Oklahoma allergies are a category of their own!), I was obviously concerned.

A dozen phone calls later, we had picked up prescriptions and he was headed to an undisclosed location to be tested.  Alone.  With his phone turned off.  And a password.  I was both horrified and relieved.  If he DID have it, we caught it super early.  If he didn't?  We'd know soon.

For three weeks now we've been so careful.  We take temperatures every day.  Every one.  Every day.  We wipe down remotes, phones, keyboards, light switches, door knobs, handles.  Twice a day.  We take shoes off before we come in (even if the only places we've been are the neighborhood streets).  We wipe down groceries before we bring them in the garage.  We wipe down or spray every thing. Over and over again.  And then we do it, again.

I laid away at night thinking of how he could been exposed.  He's been NO WHERE.  I mean no where.  I've done all of the grocery shopping.  We've picked up food a couple of times, but wiped the containers down before bringing it in.  IF he had somehow been exposed, what was I even doing?  I'd been working so hard to keep this home safe for all of us.

There was a choice to be made.  Was I really the one keeping us safe? Sure, I'm going to keep cleaning, yelling at the kids to get hand sanitizer (and they've been SO diligent!), wash hands, and take off shoes.  I'm going to keep cleaning everything, all of the time.  But what I really needed to remember?  God is still in control.

It's easier to say, then to do, isn't it?  It's easier to say I trust the Lord, then it is to sleep at night when my mind is racing and my heart is pounding and I can't figure out what to do next.

But it's true.  Either God is God, or He's not.  Either He's good, or He's not.  Either I can trust Him, or I can't.

And I choose to trust Him.  He's never failed us.

And He won't now.

The phone call just came with the test results and HALLELUJAH, Praise the Lord, they were negative.  I'm so thankful.  Thank you so very much to all of you who were praying.  We felt it!

But God would be good even if the phone call had been a different one.  He is good because He IS GOOD.  Not because my circumstances or feelings or experiences are what I call good... He. Is. Good.

I pray every day, countless times, for protection, for wisdom for those in authority, for our healthcare providers, for those who are ill, for everyone who is out of work, for our parents, for this wedding we are planning in June to be possible. For so many things.

But regardless of what happens?  God will still be in control.  And He will still be good.  I'm so very thankful I can trust Him.