Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Trying to Give Up

Been thinking, lately, about how often I "fight" the moment.

Am I the only one?

Desperately wanting some quiet and being frustrated with the chaos.

Longing for a clean house, which often means a grouchy over-busy momma.

Wishing for everyone to be well when I'm tired of nursing the sickies.

Wanting bedtime, my Coach home, the weekend to come sooner . . .

Looking forward to things can become an idol to me, if I'm not careful.

I think it's normal to look forward to the "next thing". I do. I look forward to not buying diapers, anymore.

The Coach told me the other day he's ready to be a "sippy cup free" house. Whatever. (Can you tell I have no hope of getting there?)

I look forward to having everyone old enough that I'm not regularly wakened in the night.

Most every night.

But if I'm not careful, I end up living for the NEXT thing instead of living the here and now.

For me, there is a need for submission. A need for my heart to give up MY will for the moment and relax into God's plan for me for today.

To quit fighting it and start working IN it - His will - to accomplish what He has given me to do.

It may not be what I would chose. I may rather have more quiet, more time, more clean, less mess, less food, less illness.

But I'm learning that when I relax into it (submit), stop trying to change it - accept it as God's perfect will for me TODAY- the fighting stops, the grace is sufficient and it's not so bad after all.

I think I've done a lot of fighting, in my life. A lot of trying to get my own way or make things happen as I think they should. Maybe I'm just too tired, anymore. But maybe. . . .just maybe. . . I'm learning to trust my Creator who gave me life, salvation, His Holy Spirit AND the circumstances I'm faced with today.

God is the blessed controller of all things.

And I'm glad.

John 5:30 "I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father."


Squirly Girls said...

Thanks for this honest talk from the heart. It is my struggle exactly. Never saw it as submission before, but that is true. How encouraging your words were to my heart. Isn't blogging great? You can touch so many others. Thanks again.

Corrie said...

I needed that just this moment. My heart often rebels since one of my greatest desires (you know which...) is as yet unfulfilled. Thanks for the reminder that His way is perfect! :-)

Lori said...

So is this in response to our phone conversation today? :) Ha! I feel the same way friend. Trying so hard to enjoy each day and each minute.