Can I confess something?
Turns out the only non-messy and somewhat quiet place in my house is my Daughter's (#5) room. Which was Daughter's (#2) for the longest time, but has been occupied by the second girl in the family since college began in the Fall for our oldest girl.
I'm not hiding because I'm trying to avoid my family. They've been sweet and kind today. Flowers from the Coach, gifts and cards from the troops. Church with all eight of my kids (so rare). Brunch with my mom and mom-in-law, courtesy of my Dad's famous pancakes.
But the house? I have no words. Son's (#1) stuff from college that's being sorted for storage until next Fall and another Summer at the ranch. Daughter's (#2) stuff she's started bringing home - she'll be back for good in another week. Laundry. So much laundry. I've just decided not to fold it, today.
And my email? Fast approaching 100 unread messages. Yikes. Not the time of year to avoid that, for sure. Both email and calendar desperately needed attention. So here I sit.
The Coach ordered me a new silverware rack for our dishwasher for mother's day. He's ever practical - and honestly, having to place the silverware strategically to avoid all of the broken places IS super annoying. He knows it's been driving me crazy. He has so many amazing qualities that I adore - I couldn't ask for someone more perfect for me.
We had a lovely date night last night (it had been SO long) with coffee after. Which followed Captain America Civil War with all of the kids in the afternoon. Which followed flower shopping for the yard. Which followed a 6 mile run and breakfast together.
It's just unglamorous life here. Every day life with girls arguing over which dress they were going to wear first or little man making his own pine cone bird feeders all over the dining room table, or someone deciding to make a blue funfetti cake (because we had the mix?) at 4:30 in the afternoon. Smells like it burned.
It's messy. I admit at times I wish for something more... well... less messy.
You hope, as a mom, that you have taught (are teaching?) you kids to serve others, to think of others, to be kind and lay aside their own comfort or convenience to help someone else. I'm not so sure that today's picture of my success at that is a pretty one. I love my troops, but we'd have to dig them out of this house if no one made them help put things away and wash dishes and fold laundry.
For now? I'm going to leave it all until tomorrow.
I'm going to remember that just as the Lord isn't done with me yet (Whew!), I'm not done with my troops, either. Neither is their Heavenly Father, who loves them way more than I ever could and has given them the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit to transform their hearts - something no amount of mothering could ever do. That's my greatest hope - that's it's not all dependent on me. Thank you, Jesus.
If only Starbucks would deliver in here.
For my sweet mom and my mom friends who have kids who are breaking their hearts today (and not just messing up their house?)? I'm praying for you. God loves those prodigals in unimaginable ways. Even when I just want to strangle them for the pain they cause you. He forgives. He continues to draw them to Himself. We haven't seen the last chapter of your story, yet.
Keep praying. Keep hoping. Keep loving. Keep forgiving even when your heart continues to be broken by their destruction.
If you need me in the meantime, I'll be available by email (which is now all read, thankfully) until the laptop battery dies. Because I am NOT going out there to get the cord. Someone probably moved it and didn't put it back, anyway, so what's the use?
Happy Mother's Day, Friends. Grateful for each one of you and the way you bless me in this journey.