Looking Back

On Father's Day, we decided to pull out the home movies.  We watched Colorado Camp vacations with babies (we must have completely lost our minds!), we watched countless birthdays, kids running around in the back yard, learning to ride bikes, and even a birth (didn't let a camera in until my 7th.  Ha!)! We even went waaaaay back and watched my brothers, uncle, and friends wrapping our car in Saran Wrap in the hotel parking lot on the night of our wedding.  Pretty funny.

I don't remember so many of those moments.  Watching them is sweet.  And sometimes painful.  I watch those happy babies and sweet toddlers and can't help but think that they had some very hard things coming.  I'm glad we didn't know - God's grace.

The Coach and I kept looking at each other during the videos - I think our memories are pretty vague.  They were GREAT kids!  Not perfect, of course, but even as little ones they sat still and listened and obeyed.  We ate dinners at the table together and spent time playing together.  It wasn't perfect - and it was a lot of work - but we felt blessed to have these little (now big) kids and the privilege of watching them grow.  We are so tired now, we could never pull that off for even one day.  Haha!

It was a crazy season with so many little ones.  But it was simple and it was good.  I would do it all over, again.  As long as I didn't have to do it at THIS age.  Whew!

The kids kept laughing and saying, "How did we not DIE?"  We let our kids PLAY and CLIMB and RUN - and also fall down.  We let them have BB guns and do messy crafts and ride bikes and climb play-sets (that weren't safe at all - ha!). I couldn't believe how calm the Coach and I were in the middle of all of that.  But I DO think that letting them do hard things  - AND often fail - was a good thing.  I'm proud of the younger us. Even if I don't really remember any of it.

They've grown so beautifully into ADULTS who tackle hard things.  They love well and work hard and are so loyal to each other.  It's pretty amazing to watch them as toddlers - and see those same qualities that became their strengths as adults.

I'm over thinking it all, of course.  Mostly it was just a crazy bunch of SUPER cute kids running around like wild Indians.  But they were my wild Indians and HOW I loved them.

Our culture has decided that suffering is to be avoided at all costs - we advocate abortion, assisted suicide, and drugs to prevent suffering.  We don't want anyone to experience pain or hardship.  But suffering is a part of LIVING.  If I had seen the suffering that was to come (for Son #3, in particular), would I have decided that his life wasn't worthwhile and denied him the privilege of living AND suffering?  OF COURSE NOT.  His life has been a gift and a blessing - and because of Christ, his life and his suffering both have PURPOSE.

Suffering is a part of life.  I hate it.  But it's true.  And if we don't give our kids a chance to do hard things - often by trying and not always succeeding - when they are little, how will they ever be able to face truly hard things later on?

When we know Christ, we understand that suffering isn't worthless.  Our kids need to know that there is purpose in their lives - even if life holds hardship and suffering. And can I tell you something?  Their lives WILL be hard.  At some point, in some way.  Give them the tools to tackle those hard things as little ones - God's Word, faith in Him, and lots of opportunities to DO HARD THINGS.

I would do it all, again. Even if watching those years feels like an out of body experience.  The blessings have been too numerous to count.  And God has been so faithful.  We've seen Him give us strength and grace in the small things AND in the big things.  Always faithful.  I wouldn't trade the opportunity to walk that out in front of my eight people for anything.  It's been beautiful.

There's still so much to look forward to!  And whatever lies ahead?  God will be there with us in that, too.

Happy Thursday!