When you've faced your own mortality (or your child's), it changes your perspective on life. Like a LOT. I remember in the darkest of the dark days, thinking, "OK. Today is a gift and we're going to find the JOY." And for the most part? I think we did.
I wish those kinds of lessons continued to "stick" as time passes. But I'm forgetful. And if I'm not careful, I'm so soon back to feeling less than gift-like about my day to day life.
Truly we aren't promised tomorrow. Psalm 39 says “O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!"
Even though today IS a gift, I may still have to drag myself out of bed regardless of whether or not I slept well.
Even though today IS a gift, the clothes and dishes and houses will still get dirty and must be cleaned.
Even though today IS a gift, everyone will still wants to eat 3 meals a day.
Maybe it's less about living every day in a picture perfect Hallmark movie (and I'm a big fan - ha!) and more about finding the GIFT in the messy reality. Is it truly possible to live above your circumstances? I believe it is. My execution of that is somehwat elusive. Can I be joyful when I don't feel well? Can I be faithful when someone is disloyal? Can I forgive when behavior doesn't change? Can I love when I'm not loved in return?
I'm grateful that later on in Psalm 39, we read, "And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you."
Because even though I'm less than a "gift" to my family most days, I can still find hope. God doesn't redeem us and leave us to ourselves. He continues to work and move and refine and grow us.
So if today feels like less than a gift at your house? Trust that God still has a purpose and a plan for THIS DAY. He can be honored and glorified in your life no matter what this day holds. Even in the tired messes and the messy relationships.
I'm so thankful for hope.
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