Oh. Fall.

There is a cool crisp bite to the air this morning.  I almost didn't even notice until my mom said something about it on the way to our boot camp workout.

I feel like I've been missing a lot, lately.

What happened to the me that used to enjoy pansies and pumpkins and write things about how lovely fall is and how it's when the Coach and I fell in love?

It IS lovely.

We DID fall in love.

But last Fall?

A blur.

And this one so far?

Also a blur.

I wonder sometimes.  How to stop and enjoy when there is so much to do?  How to slow down long enough to notice the cool air?

I used to.

Lately?  Not so much.

Because last Fall?  I had a sick girl who I attended school with for two weeks and then pulled out to home school all while going to doctor's appointments and having various tests run and getting virtually no sleep while she cried on the floor by my bed every night.

And this Fall?  There was surgery and recovery and now therapy (for Son #3). . . along with eight kids in school and a VERY busy Coach and all of the kids sports schedules.

Do I miss the beauty of the moment just because I'm tired?

Or do I even care what season it is when there is laundry to do and fold and meals to plan and cook and carpet that (once again) desperately needs vacuuming and there was a day when I actually trained for 1/2 marathons and. . .

Where is that girl?

Where did she go?

When your kids are little . . . other moms tell you to enjoy it and that they won't be little long and that the days are busier when your kids get older.

Boy are they right.

I LOVE this season (life, not weather) of bigger kids and football and volleyball and discussions and dinners out (never did THAT when they were babies) and cars filling the driveway and work and friends and calculus (thank the LORD for a math teacher husband).

I love it.

But it's exhausting.

Forget time to blog.  I shouldn't be doing it, even now.

Forget anything proactive around the house.  Decorating?  Who has time.  Cleaning is my goal.  A goal that is only reached for brief moments in time.

Forget the lunches and coffee dates with girlfriends that I dreamed of.  By the time I get the kids off and my workout/run in and shower and get the laundry going and fix something for dinner and run errands. . .

It's time to leave for school.

I'm not complaining.  I'm NOT.

And I really do love it. All of it.

But I look back with fondness on that girl who loved fall and had time to plant flowers and light candles and drink chai and make muffins (I still make muffins but they don't last long).

Life is, at the same time, much HARDER than I ever anticipated. . . and also much SWEETER as the years go by.  With my Coach.  With my kids.

And I suppose everything else can wait.

Happy Monday.  Happy BEAUTIFUL COOL FALL MORNING Monday.

Time to be Thankful

Surgery for Son (#3) on Wednesday went great!  Thank you so much for your prayers for us all.  There wasn't any other damage, just the ACL, which the surgeon described more as "mutilated" than a tear.  Ugh.  But we were home by 11:30 that morning and it's been busy ever since.

My heart has been full as I've watched our friends and family love on my sweet boy.
The visits.  The cards.  The cookies.  The movies.  The dinner on the night of his surgery.

He missed his class retreat on Thursday and you know what they did?  Made a life size cutout of his face and took pictures with him in them at each activity.  No one has friends like that!  Amazing.

Grandmother has helped with the other troops, folded laundry, and taken the ironing to her house. . .  the other kids have helped Son (#3) and kept up with school beautifully, the Coach has kept me from losing my mind (that's nothing new), and I even got a run in on Saturday.

We've crossed some milestones - like pulling the drain tube out of his knee (I do NOT get paid enough for this job!  Ha!), changing the bandages from surgery (can you say 17 staples?), and weaning off the meds during the night (I am TOO old to get up every four hours thankyouverymuch!).

He is gradually needing less pain medication and is getting up and down on his own.  It's still a full day to get in 6 hrs on the CPM while icing.  My job is just to feed him.  (smile)  Mostly bacon.

I even threw caution to the wind and watched "The Village" with him last week.  Yikes.  Fortunately I've been so tired I haven't had any nightmares.  Yet.

He's still not back to school (tomorrow is our goal) and we are still missing a lot of football and volleyball games while trying to keep things together here at home (And honestly?  The carpets need vacuumed sooooo badly!).

It's all good.

And blessed.

I'm so grateful for it all.  Even the time with this son of mine.

And now he and I are off to take Daughter (#7) to the dentist to get teeth pulled.  Because who wants a quiet day at home?

Happy Tuesday!

At which point I realized that HE has been taking care of ME, for quite awhile now. . .

All eight of the troops are different.  I don't say this out loud for your benefit (I'm sure you're thinking "DUH!"), but for my own.  Because sometimes I forget and try to parent them like they are all the same.

I'm learning (slowly) to enjoy and encourage these differences.  They are all unique and there are things about each one that make them such a vital part of this family and hold such a distinct and HUGE place in my heart.

There differences are also what annoy the tar out of me.  Just sayin'.

But one of our kids (I don't have favorites, but it is what it is), is particularly thoughtful.  Helpful.  Kind.  Generous.  Intuitive.

He has a way of realizing "Yes, Mom is about to lose it, again." and jumping into help.  Picking up the living room (it's my sanity), vacuuming when the latest craft project has left teeny tiny bits of paper everywhere.  Or beads.  Or Legos.  Or laundry.

He knows when I need a body guard for a late evening trip to Wal-mart (although the early morning trips seem to be more risky).  And then suggests a stop at Starbucks on the way home - his treat.

When I need some news songs on my running playlist, he's the one I ask.  We like the same music.  Which is saying a lot considering the various genres on my ipod.  And we look over the race schedules each season to decide which 5K or 10K or 1/2 marathons we are going to run.  Although he's about twice as fast as I am.

And his brownies are THE BEST!  It's my recipe, but it tastes way better when he makes them.

He takes care of the chickens, the hamsters, the fish AND the crabs.  He and his younger brother mow and care for the yard and he shops for, plants, and waters ALL of the flowers each season.

Then week before last?

He tore his ACL in a pre-season football scrimmage.

Ouch.

So my independent, helpful, thoughtful, extremely hard-working son is pretty much totally dependent on me and the rest of the troops for... well... everything.

Super hard for him.  He's had a great attitude about it all.  I've let him "vent" to me as much as he needs to.  But then he turns around and shows such kindness and humor.  We've had some good laughs through it all.

Last night after the season opener football game, while I was helping put the compression tight on his hugely swollen foot after he finished his bath (that I had to run for him), then putting the stabilizer back on his knee (while he grimaced the whole time), I was SO frustrated.  Not just because I was exhausted and trying to get the littles bathed and to bed, as well.  Not just because it had been a super long day.  Not just because it was LATE.  Not just because we lost our first home game and our quarter back was injured.  Not just because I wanted to SLEEP so I could get up and run.

But also because I am sick and tired of my boy being in pain.  And we have a long way to go.  And it turns out...I have grown to depend on HIM so much.

The gaps around here have been HUGE.  We've had to reassign care for all of the pets and to be honest?  I don't care for feeding the hamsters.  And last week?  I threw the hanging ferns on the front porch away because I kept forgetting to water them (also his job).

So yes, we are all different here at the troops.  And thank the Lord we are all still learning how to love one another and serve one another and get along.  Me, included.

Surgery is Wednesday.  Prayers appreciated.  Coffee donations accepted.

A new, but not less busy, chapter - at the troops. . .

Here it is.  Our second week of the school year.  And I'm just now sitting down to write.

Our troops started the year - all eight of them - in 12th, 11th, 9th, 7th, 6th, 5th, 3rd, and Kindergarten - last Monday.

What have I been doing the last 8 days, you ask?  Hmmmm.  I won't go there.  Suffice it to say, that having the kids AT school all day doesn't seem to lessen the amount of laundry to be done and food to be cooked.  Not to mention that I was WAY behind from the last couple weeks of school supply/clothes/shoes shopping and trying to cram every bit of fun in that we could before the freedom of Summer was lost.

Just making lunches x 9 is a bit of an ordeal.  Even though most of the kids make their own.  Just think a whole loaf of bread (plus some), turkey, cheese, pb & j, granola bars, applesauce cups, chips. . . you get the idea.

This morning?  Little Man threw a fit.  He LOVES school.  Happy every afternoon when I walk in to get him.  But sometimes in the morning, he asks just like his mommy.  He'd rather stay in bed.  Or dilly dally over breakfast.  Or skip putting on his belt.  It's a rough life.

I finished my run this morning and realized I hadn't gotten the mail yesterday.  Volleyball tournament.  After a new bootcamp session started in the morning.  Busy busy day.  But in the mail?  Senior pic proofs for Son (#1).  And yes, they've already taken them.  Before school actually started.  Good grief!  Can't a mom get a break?  (sniff)

So between the sweat dripping down my forehead and the piles and PILES of laundry needing to be folded and the FULL rack of shirts hanging above the dryer waiting to be ironed. . .

I'm going to have a hard time making it to Sam's and back before school dismissal.

This is the life of a stay at home mom of eight whose kids are all in school.

Pretty glamorous, right?

Oh, I HAVE been able to sneak away (from the laundry) for coffee with a friend and lunch with my parents one day last week.  Lovely.

And I LOVE having muffins or cookies ready for the kids after school (when we don't go straight to volleyball or football games).

And being able to head out to run *alone* with my ipod and the early morning sunshine really is a delight.  Truly.

If only the work weren't here waiting for me when I get back!  Ha!

Blessed.  Grateful.  Praying for my little guy who wanted to stay home, today.  And thanking the Lord every time I walk by those senior pic proofs for HIS faithfulness.

Happy Monday!

Note to Self. . .

1.  Do not go straight from bootcamp to Wal-mart at 7:45 AM to get chicken for dinner.

2.  When there are police cars outside of Wal-mart, you should probably think twice about shopping right then.


. . . because when you come out?

There may be a news camera recording you.




All sweaty with frizzy hair.


At least it's not smellavision, right?  (you're welcome)

And to those of you who are about to say, "This is why I don't shop at Wal-mart!".  Read the article. He robbed a Target FIRST.

3.  Move "get my concealed/carry permit" to the top of the to-do list.

Happy Tuesday!

He just knows.

Yesterday, in the early afternoon, after a morning of boot camp, caring for a sick girl, errands and my Weight Watchers meeting. . .

I got a text from the Coach.

"Meet me at the 4:20 movie?" it said.

Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal.  But it's not something we do very often.

And it meant JUST. SO. MUCH.


Sometimes, it's the little things that touch me the most.

The little thoughtful things that make my heart squeeze and remind me that this man I share life with?

He's the best.

He knows when I'm tired and discouraged.  He knows that it's easier to leave the troops for a couple of hours in the afternoon when someone is sick and will want us there in the evening.  He knows I need time with him.  He knows I was up half the night and am lacking patience.  He knows I'm sore from workouts and sitting in a cool theater with a Diet Coke and popcorn was just right.  And even though we usually don't chose seeing a movie for our dates (because we would rather go somewhere quiet to talk), sometimes it's the perfect thing.

I want my kids to know that marriage isn't easy.  That it's a lot of work.  That it takes commitment and patience and lots of forgiveness (especially on the Coach's end).  That it takes time to learn to receive God's grace so you can extend it to your spouse. That some days you don't feel loving or thoughtful or kind.  That some days (particularly when there are kids involved) you have nothing left (or so it seems) for one another.

But I also want them to know THIS.  What this almost 19 years of living life together is like.  That marriage can be amazing and wonderful and having someone know you deeply and still love you is incredible.  That after all of this time, their daddy is still my favorite.  That we still have fun together and love being together and laughing together (like when some guy started snoring in the middle of the movie). I'd rather be with him than anyone else on the planet.

Even for an afternoon movie on a hot Summer Friday.

No.  Especially for an afternoon movie on a hot Summer Friday.

Big Huge Sigh

Opening up this blog tonight, feels a bit strange, I'll admit.  It's been a month since my last post.

What a month.

Tonight we had friends over for dinner.  For meatball subs.  They are those friends.  You know the ones.  They have your kids over when you are out of town, your house doesn't have to be perfect when they are coming, you don't have to have everything ready before they arrive and the kids can't wait for them to get here.

Please tell me you have friends like this in your life!  If not, I'll pray that God will bring them!

Our dinner, conversation, laughter, and watching the kids together was like a sigh in my heart.

The happy kind.

The "we've survived this crazy, insane, heartbreaking, joyous, exhausting two months of Summer and here we are with people we love and it's nice" kind of sigh.

Grateful for friends like this.  Who encourage instead of wearing out and who share the struggles along with the laughs.

In the last month (after having all eight troops home only one night since Memorial Day), the Coach and I traveled to California for my uncle's funeral - spending time with family and sharing lots of hugs and so many tears.

We spent July 4th at the farm house with much of the same family, enjoying time with our troops and setting off enough fireworks to hurt someone - but it was quite a show and everyone remained unscathed.

We welcomed my uncle's family, hosted them at the farm and at our home and loved them in whatever way we could, while they buried my uncle here in our city.  With more hugs and more tears and SO. MUCH. SAD.

We packed the troops (in just a few hours the night before) and drove to beautiful Breckenridge for a week of COOL weather and hiking and cousins and puzzles and rafting and trains and coffee and more hiking.

Arriving back here last week . . to find it HOT and busy, once again.

God is good.

Even in our heartache, He's there with us.  I love that.  My Jesus WITH me.

It's about time to think about school supplies and khaki pants and new football cleats and who has what teacher and volleyball has started and I'm doing a boot camp for the next four weeks and the Coach is busier than ever at work and . . .

He will be with me in all of that, too.



Happy Sunday.